den of vices

Three sheets to the wind and you

2011-08-23T10:17:00.001-07:00

So, Toronto just had an earthquake - the most minor earthquake ever. My desk shook EVER-so-slightly. However, it was supposedly worse in the States and the Pentagon and the White House were evacuated. Crazy nature! Twitter went CRAZY, of course, and the funny part was that even Torontonians went crazy tweeting about the quake. Imagine if we had a real disaster!

Remember the idea of 'six degrees of separation' - that we are all hypothetically connected to eachother by 6 friendship links. Well, Facebook and Yahoo are actually trying to prove/disprove this. Stanley Milgram did it in the 60's and now Yahoo and FB are tackling the concept.

I don't doubt that for the most part, we really are connected by that few links. Especially here in Toronto! You can go participate in the experiment yourself here.

Dancing invisible

2011-02-22T16:28:00.000-08:00

Reading Week! My favourite week of the (school) year. I'm actually reading for the first part of this week, but I'm off to Montreal Thursday for a weekend away. I'm looking forward to lots of delicious bagels, awesome espresso and BYOB restaurants. I love Montreal! I will take lots of photos to post on here.

In the meantime, here are some of the links that have kept me occupied today:

For an interesting visualization of the decline of Detroit, visit this link via the Guardian.

And hey, this Egyptian man named his first child Facebook!

I'm surprised that the Egyptian government allowed this name to slip by, but I guess they have more important things to think about.

Today's pretty musical moment:

The triumphant return...

2011-02-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

I'm back! It's mere months until my university graduation, and I am so behind in what's happening online, but that will all change soon. I'm looking forward to making this blog awesome again.

Stay tuned... But until then, here is what is making me happy these days:

Food moment:

I made myself some delicious Armenian barley soup - barley, red onions, yogurt, mint, parsley and green onions. Yum!

Consumer moment:

Gotham city on a ring??? Gotham city on a ring!

More at Noir Jewelry's official website here.

Inspiration moment:

EF, the language company, commissioned Albin Holmqvist to do a series of videos about learning a language. Each one features a different city, Paris, Barcelona, Tokyo, and London, and has different typography that complements the city scenes. As I am about to embark on learning the French language, I found the Paris one particularly inspirational. Regardless, they are all gorgeous little ode to linguistics.

EF - Live The Language - Paris from Albin Holmqvist on Vimeo.

'I want to cook this' moment:

Sweet potato crackers

Dog moment:

2008-08-05T20:41:00.000-07:00

Hi friends,

sorry to have vanished for such a long period! I have been technology free during the past month and few weeks since I have moved back to Toronto. I've missed my online blogs, my facebook friends and the like, but in the absence of the online world, one is forced to live in the REAL ONE.

I'm happy to say that moving home to Toronto is undoubtedly the best decision I have made all year. While I miss a few people and a few things about the city I left behind, they cannot compare to how much I missed Toronto while absent.

I have a new apartment which came equipped with a ton of fleas that I had to (and still am trying to) kill. Luckily the cheap rent and awesome location make up for the unwanted company. I have a new job that pays less and gives me less hours, but somehow keeps me saner, and is in a much more convenient location that my last (which required a ferry across the ocean).

Best of all is how great it feels to have my friends back in my life. Gorgeous scenery has NOTHING on the sight of your best friends. Sentimental, but true.

And so, I have traded green grass for the dark alley goodness of the Green Room; I have traded the ocean for a polluted lake; my window now gives me a view of cobwebs and brick, instead of trees and the mountains; and I am not complaining.... in the slightest.

Soon I will even have the internet back... and I will get back to updating this thing more often. How is everyone's summer????

all the long gone darlings

2008-06-08T15:21:00.000-07:00

Alright, time for some rambling and you will have to excuse me for revealing too much or too little and for being too sentimental and for going on... and on.... and on. It's been a long time coming!

So....

I moved to Vancouver because I wanted a change. I saw myself on a continuum of bad habits with no foreseeable way of changing my life, without extricating myself from the situation. So I moved. I wanted a complete severance from everything that I thought was wrong with my life in Toronto, and everything that I felt I was letting interfere with my personal growth.

Moving across the country, changing jobs and going back to school certainly meant a life change. Suddenly my nights of partying turned into late nights of studying; my Sunday morning brunches turned into early morning shifts at the coffee shop giving other people the coffee that I myself desired; my 9-5 office job turned into a 7-11(am-pm) shift at school; and my amazing and attentive friends disappeared and I was left to try to find a new group with which to align myself. For awhile I felt like I was changing in good ways. I started appreciating nature again, I took yoga classes, I stopped drinking and spending every night at the bar and I even found new friends who brought out different parts of my personality.

Then the winter came, and with it, 8 months of rain and grey. My body freaked out. I lost motivation to do anything. I hated having to study for school. Unless people called me, I made no effort to have a social life. Going to the gym and exercising was too much work for me. All I wanted to do was read, watch movies and sleep. I had no interest in anything or anyone.

I'm studying psychology in school and I always feel like I understand people fairly well, but yet, I have never really dealt with depression myself. I sympathize with my friends who suffer from it, but there is always a part of me that also feels like they could snap out of it if they just tried; if they just made a conscious effort. It's all psychological after all.

But that is scary part of depression, you cannot just "snap out of it". The further you slip into it, the less and less you want to get out of it. I began to feel comfortable in the nothingness; in the empty days. And as I began to adjust, I also began to resent Vancouver more and more. I could still see the beauty of the city, but I hated it for it. The beauty felt so vacuous and empty. Like staring at a famous painting and appreciating what other people see in it, but not wanting it yourself. Or feeling like you can only stare at the painting for so long, because all it really is, is escapism.

My whole time in Vancouver was escapism. Instead of trying to make changes within myself, I figured that I could make outer changes and the inner changes would eventually come. Really, I just ran away from my life. Because I was bored and not moving forward and everyone else around me was.

It's been 10 months since I left Toronto. I completed first year University with a good GPA that I am proud of. For that reason, I would not say that my time in Vancouver has been a failure, nor do I regret having come here. Maybe in order to transition into a new part of my life, I had to change my surroundings. What hindered me here though, was that I never severed my connections with my life in Toronto. I always wanted to keep my life there alive, but somehow also live here and really, you cannot be two places at once. It's exhausting and ineffective.

I've realised that I don't need pretty views and nature and wildlife to be happy; I need my friends and I need to feel like myself. I have to stop looking to my environment to change me and to better me, I can do it myself. And I don't feel like I can do it here in Vancouver. The constant grey makes it hard to look at the positives, and the absence of my closest friends makes it even more difficult. So, although I will miss the beaches and the mountains and the new people that I have met, I want to be back in Toronto where I feel most at home.

I made it almost a year, and people here think that I am crazy for leaving before the proper "summer" begins (I am still doubtful that it exists!), I am moving back to Toronto on June 24th. Two weeks from now. Maybe I am crazy for not giving the city a real chance, but somehow over the course of 10 months, absence made me grow SO much fonder of Toronto, and I cannot imagine being away for the rest of the summer as well.

Bring on the excessive humidity and the frizzy hair and sleepless nights.
Bring on late nights that I regret in the morning (and when I get my bank statements).
Bring on pollution and overcrowding and apartments that are never above ground.

Because with all of those negatives comes so many more positives. Perfect evenings on patios with sangria and good friends and conversation. Early morning coffee runs with friends or co-workers. Music by the water and dancing at the newest karaoke bar turned cool. Wandering down Queen West on a weekend and running into old friends.

Sunny days that you take for granted.

Okay that's it. My rambling; a month's worth of it.

I'm coming "home" to Toronto and I am not leaving for a LONG time.

nothing but buildings

2008-05-19T22:27:00.001-07:00

32 degree weather and the first swim of the year constitutes a new mixtape. I am working on in, but in the meantime:

Zeigeist - The Lake

Zeitgeist - The Lake

No spring/summer can kick off without the perfect Swedish pop song.

Happy Spring/Summer!

i'm fooling somebody

2008-05-06T18:44:00.000-07:00

Okay I am back, and as I have developed what kind of resembles strep throat, but also kind of resembles the flu, there is no better time than now to give an update. I am, after all, confined to the house with no possibility of escape. The last time I tried to walk to the kitchen, I had to stop half way in order to stop the world from spinning.

So... it has been a few weeks.. okay almost a month, and PLENTY has happened. I have some pictures to demonstrate the fun that was had, and lots of stories that may or may not be shared online.

I was home for two weeks and managed to see *almost* everyone whom I wanted to see - sorry to those who I somehow did not get to see, either by lack of time, scheduling or out of town reasons. I also realised just how much I miss that city. Oddly, even driving by my disgusting first apartment, or my old college made me homesick. Probably because it was the first city that ever felt like home for me - home that I had chosen, not that was chosen for me.

Anyway, to commemorate the trip, here are some PHOTOS (courtesy of my awesome friends!):

Bowling in Ottawa on a Thursday nite....

I lost horribly...

But we all had fun anyway. (Them laughing at my bowling inabilities and velcro kids shoes).

Montreal hearts PENGUINS.

Old Montreal.

Shisha cafes by night.

Smells sooo good...

We are all scratching our five o'clock shadows.

Pam's first shisha experience.

Are we happy because of the company? the alcohol? the shisha?

See, Toronto has plants too, they just grow in odd places.

Twist and shout?

Back in Toronto... my birthday evening. Ben made a friend.

Ha Penny Cash!

Post-birthday celebrations.... a few drinks in!

Film friends, Mauricio and Lyndsay.

38 Carling Ave-rs, Jennilee and I.

Hi Luke!

??? This photo still baffles me. What is the focus?

Kitty the pirate!

Cute. Bonding time.

Dancing in the Montreal discotheque.

More to come when I get my own photos all uploaded.

It was a great time and worth the two weeks of lost wages, for sure. And now I am back in Vancouver, working full-time like an adult again, but hopefully there will be some changes in the near future.

i breathe in and breathe out

2008-04-15T20:17:00.000-07:00

(north van version of a palm tree, meant to signify that I am ON VACATION. officially ha!

had the last of the psych exams this morning. i now welcome RELAXATION. i even sold all of my textbooks (for the measly sum of 50 dollars, ouch!)

in an hour i will be heading to the airport, where i will be spending the next 9 hours awaiting a plane. unfortch vancouver has a rather shoddy transit system which does not run early enough in the morning for me to leave my house in the morning. oi.

so i am making friends with the airport; possibly i will take some pictures of myself with the giant stuffed bear, or maybe the totem poles; maybe i will have a coffee or three at the starbucks (unless HORROR it is closed); maybe i will start talking to random people, desperate to make friends. either way, an unusual way to spend the early morning of my birthday.

i will be photo-documenting the next two weeks and any strange happenings, of which i am sure there will be plenty.

oh fyi to anyone who has itunes radio, under 'ambient', go to the 'All Chilled @ 181.FM' station. it's basically like my iPod has taken over a radio station and is trying to flirt with me by giving me good playlists.... i highly recommend.

ok that's all... i have no fun links again today, because well, who has time for fun during finals?! but finals are over, as of today, so bring on le fun.

au revoir vancouver: bonjour toronto!

high and dry

2008-04-09T17:16:00.000-07:00

Radiohead perform 'Nude'..... erm the song that is. They are fully clothed... I assure you.

Listen, listen!

And watch (as they perform, again: with clothing on):

Humour me, I'm just a little bit excited about seeing them in August...

Alright, so today I managed to study 2 of the 3 psych chapters for my Friday exam AND complete two 750 word essays... so to celebrate, I am off to have a drink or three with a friend. I have developed one of those lovely, sexy, raspy voices that come with sore throats and foggy heads, but hopefully a drink won't push me over the edge into actual illness. I drank plenty of matcha and chamomile tea (with honey! mmm) and went for a jog so my body should be happy....

One week until my (temporary) departure from fair Vancouver; a date that I have determined to be the official start of my summer - and conveniently enough - also my birthday. So lots to look forward to. If my body can just hold up!

You made me untouchable for life

2008-04-07T16:43:00.000-07:00

Haha okay as a follow-up to my last posts exuberance over classes being finished: I do still have final exams, up until next Wednesday, but it still feels PRETTY AMAZING.

I got to sleep in this morning, go for a jog (okay a REALLY quick one around the block, before I remembered that I live on a rather steep upwardly slanted mountainous street AND I hate jogging AND no matter how in shape I "think" that I am, it is never enough for jogging), study for my final this evening, walk to school through the strange forest.... summer is awesome. (Although, it is cold out and rainy... and summer still feels distant, but technically, it is nearly "summer" for us students)

Okay so today is my marketing final, Friday is psych #1 and next Tuesday is psych #2 and then I am OFF on the first of my summer adventures: le Toronto.

Other updates: I will be in Germany - just outside of Berlin - for most of July, working in a "peace village" called Storkow and perfecting my 'Deustch sprechen' (German) and if money permits, I may make a few additional European stops along the way. WHICH necessitates the quick search for a second job so as to once again pay for a flight overseas.

Second update is that RADIOHEAD have finally updated their tour list to include a VANCOUVER date. August 19th at the Thunderbird Stadium, Vancouver will be witness to Thom Yorke's truly inspiring imp dance. I love that dance.

Beyond that, I have no internet suggestions or links because I have no time these days to waste stalking musicians and designers... but the links will return soon. I am stoked on Toronto and Montreal shopping - both clothing and music - and catching a few concerts, hopefully!

Alright: I am off to my first final exam.

2008-04-04T14:44:00.000-07:00

I'm DONE!

DONE.

DONE.

DONE.

I will post some updates SOON.

<3 you all!

it's just noise; always, it's just noise

2008-03-19T20:08:00.000-07:00

When I was a kid, my favorite singer was Matthew Good. Here in Canada, he achieved a high level of success, but I always still considered him as "mine"; always still believed that his songs affected me in ways that no one else would understand. I purchased every album that he ever made - before and after Matthew Good Band - as well as his book of prose and all of his t-shirts. The first time I saw him in concert almost brought me to tears - something in his words touched me in a way that nothing else could.

As I grew older, I found more bluntly angst-ridden music to suit my moods. I embraced power chords and came to believe that screaming was beautiful too. My Matthew Good albums were put on my closet shelf and I replaced the t-shirts with ones from the Misfits, Sisters of Mercy and the Subhumans. They were my new ingroup. I had replaced intellectual and well-spoken lyrics with noise and dark symbolism; I was a teenager.

And yet, years later I find myself returning to Matt Good's pissed-off-but-still-poised songs, and appreciating the understatement once again. No matter my mood, I can always find an album of his that will complement it.

Being here in Vancouver, where he grew up, and re-listening to his earlier work, I GET IT. I get the feeling of looking out across this great expanse of time and not knowing what to do with it and feeling slightly depressed and insignificant at the concept. There was always a feeling of restlessness in his work, of questioning the ordinariness of one's life and feeling anxious of this being all that there is. I put on 'Hospital Music', his latest album, while taking the bus to Coquitlam yesterday. The bus takes over an hour and it curves all along the Burrard Inlet and showcases how geographically stunning the West Coast is. No matter how beautiful it is though and no matter how inspiring it is in that moment, it is so fleeting. I felt immensely happy as we rode further and further away from the city and through the trees overlooking the jagged cliffs; but then my cellphone rang and the moment was over and I could not recapture it later.

I want to take in everything that I can while I am here. I want to experience the ephemeral parts of my surroundings: the first buds and blooms of spring, the melting snow on the mountains in the distance, all of the parts of nature that we are not responsible for and haven't yet learned how to control; but I keep letting myself get distracted by the parts that we ARE responsible for. And as much as I try to deny it and I try to train myself otherwise, it still remains that I like those man-made parts best. I am happiest in the center of a bustling city, with people moving in every direction from me.

And I lost where I was going with this post. I had an idea and it came while I was listening to Matt Good, but now the CD is over and the thought is gone with the last of the notes. Maybe for the best. I have one week left of school and three big projects to do and my concentration level is currently negatively correlated with my stress level and I am just clinging to the anticipation of how good it is going to feel when this is all over.

And so, I leave everyone with the awesomeness that is the Presets and their new song/video. They are no Matt Good, but they are fun and right now, that is all that I require.

I <3 the Presets.

Happy long weekend everyone.

sail away, my vessel brave

2008-03-14T12:54:00.000-07:00

I have an advertising project that is due soon, and my group is still in the brainstorming phase. Our product is a pool and my inspiration lies with rubber ducks at the moment. Can anyone think of any good ideas????

I don't want to be your friend, I just want to be your lover

2008-03-11T13:14:00.001-07:00

A quick update before I run off to the gym: I am t-minus one month until this school nonsense is all over.

And what a month it shall be.

For my Toronto friends: it is a mere month until I visit. Let us start planning shows, events, patios, coffee dates, tofu stirfry dinners.

2008-02-28T19:35:00.000-08:00

My favorite ads:

...but only if you are a little bit in love with me

2008-02-27T19:50:00.000-08:00

My February obsession:

I am proud to be Swedish for so many reasons, and this video is one of them. There is so much amazing and unique talent that comes out of Sweden.
This girl is called Lyyke Li and you can find out more about her HERE. Or here.

I get old and I get humble

2008-02-26T20:42:00.001-08:00

And as the trees grew higher and higher
And the fish began to fly
I went and stole some wings
And thought why can't I ...
- Yeasayer, 'Sunrise'

the blatant proof

2008-02-22T18:21:00.000-08:00

BLAST. My timing is terrible this time......

Oh wait. That is no way to greet everyone, considering my absence of posts as of late. Let's start again:

Hi friends, I know it's been a long time, I bet you even thought that I had carelessly deserted this blog. Alas, not the case, I merely got too caught up in the academic side of my life. Blah blah blah, I am going to try not to neglect this blog anymore.

Okay, that out of the way: BLAST. My timing is terrible this time. I have a flight booked to Toronto for April and I fly back on the 29th and I have just heard word that Ticketmaster DOES have tickets onsale for the Verve on May 1st. THE VERVE. TWO Days after I leave Toronto. AND not only that.... but Cut Copy, my Austalian favorites, are playing Vancouver the day that I fly back to the city, but my flight gets in too late to make it feasible for me to catch them. Le sigh.
It's almost like when I moved to Toronto from Edmonton and the great DAVID BOWIE played Edmonton the day that I left it and Toronto the day before I arrived.... Many a tear was shed over that.

Alright well over in Milan it is Fashion Week and the clever kids at Fendi have adopted some crazy technology to... ahem... add gold to their fur? I don't get why, but the details: HERE. Personally I would prefer cotton... and silver.

And recently in my favorite city, London, it was the (obvious here!) London Fashion Week. Which I am partial too, even tho critics tend to mock it. However, sometimes even I have to admit, they do go a bit... overboard:

Courtesy of the talented, but CRAZY, Gareth Pugh. Robot from the future somehow ended up getting mistakenly wallpapered over? I don't know what to say here. But I cannot take my eyes away from it, even though it hurts.

Because Iceland is one of the coolest places, well on earth, it only figures out that they would come up with something like this:

Undoubtably, the best thing ever for two reasons:
a) it's a toque, that looks like a beard. Ingenious really.
b) now the boys have NO possible excuse for having facial hair. Not a one. Thank god.
More ridiculously cute Icelandic knitty-stuff HERE.

Okay I cannot resist, just one more picture of theirs:

Seriously, best stuff ever. Has anyone seen the movie Eagle Vs. Shark???? (If not, DO IT). This is like the girl's shark costume... but knitted.
My house would definitely be a happier place if I were wandering around it in that.

This is definitely catch up day for me. I have ignored all of my own favorite blogs for ... uh weeks, same as I have ignored my own. There are amazing things that you miss when you live inside a text book. Things that I didn't even know that I was missing out on, like this:

Future Me
I just wrote 'future me' an email to remind myself in the summer to look around and APPRECIATE the sun. What in the world am I talking about?
FutureMe.... is a website where you can send yourself a 'post-dated' email to remind yourself something.... or you can cheat and post-date birthday emails, so you don't forget. Clever, no?

Oh and like this:
The 'Learning to love you more' project started by Miranda July - writer of the movie, Me and You and Everyone We know, which i loved.

And that's allllll for today. I made up for my absence, right?
Oh except that I forgot to include any personal updates. Alright, I can do that quickly: it's midterm time and my life = school, occasionally interspersed with outings and work. That's all.

(Courtesy of Postsecret)

it wasn't free....

2008-02-06T22:29:00.000-08:00

Holy time lapse Batman. Where have the past few weeks gone?
Somewhere along the line, it became "midterm" and "midterm" took my freedom with it.

I have five essays due within the next two weeks; one of which is finished, four of which are still pre-embryonic. Oi. It's going to be a grand few weeks, please don't expect too many updates on my end. Fashions are changing for the season and new music is being released, likely good music at that, but I am so caught up in the history of the media and the different psychological perspectives that I hardly even know who this years Juno nominees are.

I think they call this stress, my friends. It has been absent for my life for so long that I *almost* forgot all about it.

Anyway, stress and school aside, everything is well. It's a lovely, snowy world outside. Snowy and rainy, somehow at the same time; only in Vancouver. I have heard growing whisperings about spring coming though, and I am pretty sure that I am ready for it to come. Any day now.

I have resumed my strict workout schedule in preparation for some surf lessons and lots of beach lurking this summer. I also purchased some form of pilates DVD, I cannot bring myself to go to a pilates class - something in me rebels against the idea - but the DVD is strangely calming. It might be the fake palm trees and cooing birds in the background. I'm always a sucker for those. Pilates DVD's and red wine are the antidote to stress.

The parents are in town as of tomorrow, so I am to give up my (freshly laundered) bed and move upstairs onto the leather couch, which if I am lucky, I will not slide off of in the middle of the nite. That or the blow up mattress that we purchased for guests. I am partial to the blow up mattress, it is a whole world of fun.

What other updates can I share? Oh, thanks to a heads up from the ever helpful Caitlin, I have purchased myself a ticket to Toronto for April 17th.... soooo I hope that everyone back home is ready for a lot of sushi and Bovine trips and H&M and Queen Street shopping trips! I miss you kids and cannot wait to see everyone!

Alright that's it... for now. This is all about me, I have become narcissistic in my busy-ness.
How are you all doing?

do you feel electric?

2008-01-28T15:23:00.000-08:00

It is almost - 50 degrees in Edmonton today, or so my sources tell me.

THAT, right there, is why I moved!

I woke up complaining that there was a TINY bit of snow in North Vancouver.... but it is about 4 degrees now and the snow has melted. I am not allowed to complain.

hands on some cheap wine

2008-01-24T22:26:00.000-08:00

I have my first midterm next Tuesday (already?) so I am back to studying and wine drinking. The wine makes it all okay.

It's been cold as.... winter.... here in Vancouver the past few days. A sunny cold though, and as always it is painfully pretty outside. As restless as I am, it will be incredibly hard to leave these views.

It's almost the weekend again, seriously, they come so quickly when you are in school. Tomorrow nite is sushi at the Eatery and then dancing, dancing, drinking, dancing. Saturday, I am banished to my room to study more and then Sunday is the Gallows concert.

A few songs to download/procure legally:

Late Of The Pier - Bathroom Gurgles
Lucky Soul - The Great Unwanted
Freezepop - Future Future Future Perfect

The Coachella lineup is partially up and as every other year, it is perfectly in line with my tastes. Cut Copy? Portishead? LOVE AND ROCKETS. Goddamn it! Kraftwerk!? And on and on... you can read for yourself.

Yet another way of spending my (non-existent) money.
Ach Ach Liebling.
Lots of shiny things.

Okay before I keep going and find more sites and waste more time, it's time to do some studying before this wine puts me to sleep.
Happy dreams everyone.

come with me to the coast....

2008-01-21T20:51:00.000-08:00

The ultimate distraction from studying:

Name 7 things in your wallet:
1. My tips from work
2. The brand new license that I received in the mail today (but I PROMISE not to drive with it)
3. Debit Card
4. My student card with the awful picture that does not resemble me
5. A bunch of receipts that I need to file away one of these days
6. A Genisoy bar.... mmmmmm. Will most likely be consumed for lunch tomorrow while I am at school
7. Multiple unnamed phone numbers for people that I likely no longer remember
(It's time for a purse cleanout, for sure.)

Name 6 things you do when you're really stressed:
1. Stare hopelessly into the candle next to my bed (and no, it doesn't help)
2. Retreat from the world and panic in my head
3. Listen to Neil Young (that helps)
4. Give in to my insomnia
5. Long baths with potentially fire-causing candles.
6. Sleep, a lot.
Name 5 favorite fruits:
1. Strawberries
2. Kiwis
3. Mangoes
4. Pomegranates
5. Blueberries/Blackberries (a tie)
Name 4 names you go by:
1. Jenna
2. Jenna
3. Jenna
4. Jenna
Name 3 things you are wearing right now
1. 4 layers of t-shirts, I am infamous for this, oh and shockingly, they are all black.....
2. Black and white striped knee highs
3. A necklace with a twisted tree on it
What are you thinking about right now?
My CBC radio essay that I should be researching but am avoiding.
Where is your phone?
To the right of me, on my computer desk. Someone call me and distract me, s'il vous plait.
Where do you sleep?
In the middle of my queen sized bed, thereby emphasizing the fact that I am sleeping by myself and have too much room.

Where did you get the shirt you're wearing?
Shirt #1: Top Shop in London
Shirt #2: a vintage store in Edmonton
Shirt #3: H&M in Toronto
Shirt #4: TrueValue Vintage here in Van....
My clothes are representative of all the cities that I have lived in... awwww...
What was the last thing you ate?
A chickpea salad
What kind of cell phone service do you have?
The shitty Rogers variety. I pay too much and receive too little.
What is the closest item near you that is blue?
The 3rd season of 'Curb Your Enthusiasm'.
What is the last movie you watched?
Vincent by Tim Burton circa 1982. It's up on quicksilverscreen.com and worth the five minutes to watch it.
When did you last feel a tree with your bare hand?:
Today, at my tree-covered college. It's in the rainFOREST.

The Strange 11 - Eleven odd facts about yourself

1. When was the last time you shaved?
This morning.
2. What were you doing this morning at 8am?
Rolling over one last time before getting up to do homework. Revelling in the fact that it was 8am and I was still sleeping.
3. Do you know the words to the song on your myspace page?
I cannot remember what song it is, my myspace is mainly neglected these days.
4. How many different beverages have you drank today?
2 coffees (one I made at home and one courtesy of JJ Bean)
1 latte, also self-made.
5 glasses of water.
5. What one thing do you wish to change about yourself?
............... shrug.
6. What do you wish for?
Summer.
7. When was the last time you got really hurt?
I do have a strange bruise on my leg from dancing on Saturday nite.....
8. Any plans for Friday night?
Yup, hello The Eatery and your delightful sushi and music and aesthetics.
9. Something you are excited about?
Life.
10. What is your favorite flavor of JELLO?
I don't do jello.
11. Describe your key chains?
It's florescent pink, has a slinky-like cord and a whistle.... don't even TRY to mug me.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------
1. Do you know anyone in prison?....
Hmm not personally.
2. Have you ever logged onto a bf/gf/crush's MySpace page?
To send them messages, for sure, but not to stalk.... if I have to stalk, I'd probably rather not know. I am of the belief that if I don't know it, it doesn't exist. No news is good news.
3. When is the last time you ate peanut butter and jelly?
Peanut butter, this morning. Jelly... is gross.
4. ?
5. Have you ever gotten naked at a party?.....
Ahem.
6. what happened to this one?
Where have all of these questions gone?
How can I waste time and avoid studying when all of the questions are absent?
7. Are you named after a grandparent?
Yes - my middle names. It's a funny story too, you should ask me about it.
8. Who loves orange soda?
You love orange soda.
9. Have you ever broken a rib?
Nope... a tailbone tho. Ouch.
10. Would you rather be a girl or a guy?
I'm content as is.
11. Who is the most spoiled person you know?
I'm pretty spoiled myself.
12. Would you rather have a million dollars or true love?
The million dollars so that I could buy my way into an EU passport and I am sure I could EASILY find a true love overseas.
13. Have you ever had sex in church?
... No. I prefer to avoid churches most of the time.
14. Is your boyfriend/girlfriend a marine?
The uniform thing is much less of a turn on for me.
15. Would you rather date someone 2 years younger or older?
Normally older but I've done both.
16. What's your favorite junk food?
Chocolate, oh lovely chocolate. Maybe a Wunderbar.
17. Do you have a porn collection?
Nah.
18. Is your birthday on a holiday?
Every few years it is on Easter Monday or Friday so I often get it off from work or school!
19. Are you old enough to vote?
Indeed I am and I make use of that.
20. Do you have any friends or family in the war right now?
A friend of a friend.
21. Are you a vegetarian?
For 7 years now.
22. Do you worry about global warming?
I do, I do.
23. Do you like Polar bears?
The Coca Cola commercial ones in particular.
24. What song do you want played at your funeral?
Something Joy Division ......
25. Did you lose your virginity to your neighbor?
My parents live in a suburban neighborhood of primarily middle-aged couples.... so, uh NO.
26. Did or do you think your childhood dreams will come true?
I hope they won't. In retrospect, I should have dreamed bigger and better.
27. Do you wear your boyfriend/girlfriends clothes?
Shamefully my boyfriends are usually of the freakishly thing variety and I am sad to say that it is questionable as to whether their clothes would fit me.
28. Are you a country or city girl/boy?
CITY. Definitely city!
29. Are you taller than 5'6"?
Yup, 5'7 and a bit.
30. Do you consider yourself spoiled?
I do... the world has been pretty kind to me.

here come the waves

2008-01-15T23:13:00.000-08:00

School starts and I suddenly don't have time for friends or work or updating this damn blog. One day soon.... in the meantime, some links:

To any music fan, this is one of the scariest disorders, ever. Seriously, I got shivers even thinking about it....

My want list:

The new Mac 'Air' which makes my iBook like like a super computer from the 80's.

A zebdonk.

Ida Maria, a band.
Norweigan/Swedish, of course.

----------------------------

The stars have shut their eyes up tight, the earth has changed it's course. A Kingdom sits on a black knight's back, as he tries to mount a white jeweled horse. While a clock full of butterflies on the hour releases a thousand moths.

You say "leave" and I'll be gone

without any remorse

No letters faxes phones or tears

there's a difference between bad and worse
- Lou Reed, 'NYC Man'

barely on the map

2008-01-14T12:20:00.000-08:00

1. How late did you stay up last night?
Since my Monday classes don't start until... oh 5PM, I was up until past 3 and it feels glorious!
No more 8:30 in the morning classes for me.

2. What was the first thing you thought this morning?
Monday, already?

3. Is the person you have a crush on older or younger than you?
Older. No more young'uns for me.

4. What did you do last night?
Worked until 7 and then, overcaffeinated, went to the gym and came home to study.

5. What are you doing this weekend?
Since it's Monday, I am using this past weekend... but Friday I wandered downtown with Lorena, allowed her to spend too much money while I purchased too much caffeine, then Saturday I worked and then saw Electroma - the Daft Punk movie - with my co-worker Todd and yesterday, I worked. Weekends definitely do not have the same appeal as they used to, now that I spend them working!

6. Do you think you will be in a relationship three months from now?
. . . . Who knows.

7. Do you own a stereo that cost more than $100?
Nope. I own an iPod speaker - thing.... but it was under a hundred dollars. I move too much for expensive electronics.

8. Has some of the opposite sex ever told you they loved you, and meant it?
Erm... maybe once but it's been awhile. I'm not very fond of allowing it to get to that point.

9. How's your heart lately?
My heart's restless as always but it's neutral these days. Swedish heart?

10. What were you doing this morning at 7am?
Angrily muttering at my alarm clock because it was still set to 7, then throwing it away from me and falling promptly back into a deep sleep.

11. What were you doing this afternoon at 12pm?
Drinking coffee and eating a pear. Contemplating opening my psych textbook and then deciding it was unnecessary.

14. What was the reason you last cried?
Homesickness, I guess. Usually the only reason that I cry. Too many homes to be sick for.

16. Who's your most attractive friend?
Shrug. I don't dare answer that question.

17. Why did you stop liking your last crush?
The usual, distance.

18. Do you know someone with the initials M.P.?
Maybe, probably, but not that I can remember offhand.

19. Have you ever talked to someone when they were high?
Uh YEAH. I live in Vancouver... and my friends elsewhere are all musicians.

20. How many red lights have you ran?
Intentionally, zero. I'm one of those who when the light turns yellow I panic and "should I stop, should I go".... I never make it past a yellow light, let alone a red.

21. Have you ever cried while taking a shower?
Only once, when I was in Cuba and a cockroach ran across the shower. Blech.

22. What was your favorite grade?
Grade 12, I'd say. Not only was I "THIS" close to being done, but I had some great times and great friends.

23. What were you doing at 12am last night?
Sending emails or reading.

24. What's a sure way to catch your attention?
Dressing well and having a good haircut... or (agreeing with Caitling here) playing in a band. Sad but true!

25. Have you ever, in any way, been betrayed by someone you trusted?
Ha.

26. When was the last time you were given a rose?
A few years ago on Valentines Day by a poor boyfriend who was trying to be nice, not realising how crazy my allergies to roses really are.

27. Is there anything that you are craving for right now?
Sun. I need to acquire one of those sun lamp things.

28. Where did your last hug take place?
Friday.

29. Do people ever make stupid mistakes when spelling or saying your name?
Oddly, yes. My last name, all of the time. My first name though - they spell it with a 'G' or call me Jeanna. Really not that hard, I swear.

30. Have you ever started a sentence with "No offense, but..."?
Danger, no.

31. What did you do today?
Woke up late, showered, made a cappucino for myself, called a friend to tell her I wouldn't be at school at lunch today, stared out the window at the grey and searched for bits of blue (none yet), email...and now this. Soon, I must get off to class though.

32. When was the last time you saw a cop?
Yesterday, there was a protest at the art gallery. I tried to figure out what they were protesting but nothing was in English. The cops were out in full force though.

33. Did you ride in someone else's car today?
Nope. Not since riding in David's car on Thursday.

34. Have you made a mistake in the past week?
Several. Many.

35. What are you listening to right now?
Minipop. What a shitty band name, but great band.

36. Who was the last person to text you?
David from Sweden.

37. Do you miss someone?
Lots of someone's, in fact.

38. Is there anything you regret about your past?
I have spent too much of my life regretting things about my past. They happened, I was young, there is nothing that I can do to change them so what is the use in regret?

39. Are you happy with your life?
Comme si, comme sa.

40. Whats the last thing you ate?
A giant pear.

41. Is there a feeling you're trying to avoid?
Is restlessness a feeling?

42. When was the last time you were on a plane?
December 27th, from Edmonton to Vancouver, shortest flight ever. I am a seasoned air traveller though. Airplanes and I have a good relationship.

44. What will you do Saturday?
I foresee some dancing and dressing up and perhaps, a little drinking. But who knows.....

the sky is empty

2008-01-08T19:31:00.000-08:00

It's day 2 and I have assignments already. My first is to do an ad critique: taking a popular advertisement and analyzing it; both the pros and cons.

I have been going through my old posts and links to find an ad that I can use. I've come up with a few ads that I like and/or think would make a good presentation.

This first ad is currently my top choice. It is not the most visually stunning advertisement but I love the idea behind it and although I posted it back in the summer, it is still one of my favorite
ads ever. It works on so many levels.

This second one was for a Burberry campaign and one of my favorites. It works because it is an idea that we teenagers and twenty-somethings are familiar with: piling in front of a camera with our friends. We can relate to it. Burberry has added a few familiar faces as well, model Agyness Deyn who is huge in the UK but has maintained indie credibility and my favorite singer (not model), Patrick Wolf who because of his musician, not model, status also lends a lot to the ad.

The next ad is for the clothing company Academiks circa 2004. They used the slogan "Read books, get brain" which slipped under the radar, despite the sexual connotation of "get brain", which most of the public was unaware of. I like this ad because of that fact: to the general public, the slogan is harmless, it means nothing, but to the target marget that the ad is aimed at, it is an in-joke. It is this exclusionary aspect that makes it effective marketing.
(Note: the ad was pulled shortly after a high school student let it slip exactly what "get brain" means)

The next ad, for Cat Sound is good. It's memorable, it uses appealing visuals and it immediately catches your attention. It's also a simple concept that will appeal to people of all ages.

Animals appeal to people emotionally. They suck you in, no matter what. This is exactly why the Telus ads have been so successful.

This ad, I do not necessarily like, but it had people talking and that was it's intent. It's goal was controversy; I think it succeeded!

I am not sure if it says it directly on the ad, but the slogan was something about "kills all rats".....

Okay more to come. If anyone has any good ideas, or any thoughts on any of these, let me know what you think.
If only more of my class projects involved me surfing the internet......

"I believe that if one always looked at the skies, one would end up with wings."
Gustave Flaubert

the moment of truth in your lies

2008-01-08T14:59:00.001-08:00

It's January and I am back in school. It's a weird feeling; you get used to class and then it ends, then you get used to work and vacation and then that ends.... It may take me awhile to adjust to all this change.

So far though, things are going well. My classes seem, for the most part, interesting, and the instructors, for the most part, competent and passionate. My goal for this semester is to improve my marks - hey I am a perfectionist, we know this - and I am aiming for a 90% average.

I have this secret goal of going to McGill in the next year, two years... so I want to keep my marks at the level that if I find an opportunity to move back East, I am able to. I don't want any options taken away from me.

That said, if I went back East, it would not be because I dislike Vancouver, it would just be the final stop on my personal cross-Canada tour. I vowed a long time ago that there were four cities in this country that I wanted to explore and I have lived in the other three (Edmonton - birthplace, Toronto and now, Vancouver) so now there is only one left.

After that, who knows....

Okay now, a few links:

The new Underworld video:
"Beautiful Burnout"

... and a new Goldfrapp video.
A&E
It sounds oddly, almost folk-y. I like the woodland creatures though.

Okay well, I am off to my final class of the day: explorations of mass media.
I think, somehow, that I just might already know a little bit on this topic :)
Just maybe.

an understanding somewhere

2008-01-04T16:35:00.000-08:00

My last day off before work and school begin to dominate my life once again.
What do I have to show for this day off? 3 new books, a bruise from the treadmill at my gym, a slight hand tremor from too much caffeine and the following links:

THIS is one of the funniest things that I have seen.
I still cannot make it embed on this blog, so go to Youtube and watch it, priceless!

Spastic-bombastic!
Wizard Prison.

Bjork is so weird/cute. She has just released 'Declare Independence' as her next single and the talented Michel Gondry (The Science of Sleep, one of my all-time fav movies) directed the video. In typical Gondry/Bjork style, it's an odd, but enjoyable, one.

Sadly, again, i cannot get it to embed (does anyone know how to fix this problem?) but click HERE

Every South Park episode, online for free!
Here.

I love Marc Jacobs, love love, and I like the work that director Harmony Korine has done.... but this Marc Jacobs ad featuring Mr. Korine is... somehow not selling me on men's clothing.

Nor is it selling me on diner food

(except for maybe at THE TEMPLETON on Granville. Best spinach salads this side of Toronto's Shanghai Cowgirl)

(Sidenote: does Harmony Korine not look just the *slightest* like Carl Barat ala The Libertines in this picture? Or is this just me???)

Kate Moss on the other hand does Yves St. Laurent ss/08.... and I like it:

The hair works on her. It makes her look younger and less haggard than she has been appearing lately. Besides that, the dress is very Audrey Hepburn, so of course..... I am sold on it.

Chanel Winter/fall 08:

Supposedly they are inspired by Amy Winehouse. I see it in the hair... but not the clothing.
I am just posting this because I love the colours and because my outfit for tonite's work "Christmas party" (can it really still be deemed a Christmas party, a week into January?!) is inspired by the awesome purple's in those photos.

And with that, I am off to said work party, to pretend to be social and then quickly make my escape on to real plans. Happy Friday evenings to everyone.

tried to change the 'made in michigan'

2008-01-03T13:28:00.000-08:00

I have had the past week off and somehow have NOT accomplished any of the things that I had planned for myself. Now that takes skill.

I have, however, managed to read two books (Larry's Party, Letters To A Young Poet), sleep in until 9 nearly every day (amazing!), see lots of friends that I rarely get to spend time with, watch numerous movies (Four Eyed Monster, Thumbsucker, Rosemary's Baby, My Own Private Idaho) and of course, locate a lot of good sushi.

So while I didn't really do any of the things that I planned to, I did manage to turn this time off into a great week. It has been a good way of welcoming in the new year and I feel confident that 2008 really is going to be a good year.

I didn't make any resolutions because I know myself and I know that there is no chance of keeping them or pretending that I will keep them. I am also happy with the way that things are going with my life right now, so maybe resolutions are not really needed. That said, I do have new resolve to dedicate myself more to school work with the shiny end goal of maybe going to McGill for either the last years of my degree or for my masters program. I think that is enough for this year. Everything else, I will take it as it comes.

Happy 2008

2008-01-01T22:46:00.000-08:00

little help from my friends...

2007-12-31T10:51:00.000-08:00

01. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?
Went to University, moved to the ocean, worked in a coffee shop, travelled to new countries.... drove FIFTY FIVE HOURS (each way!) to get from Toronto to California for a music festival.

02. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I don't think that I made resolutions last year, but I think that I accomplished as much as I could have hoped to in the past year.

03. Did someone close to you give birth?
Mmmm in December of last year, but not this year. Thankfully :)

04. Did anyone close to you die?
A good friend's sister, sadly.

05. What countries did you visit?
Canada, US, the UK, Ireland, France and Monaco.

06. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?
Stability maybe! A degree, altho... that is about 3 1/2 years away.... It's nice to dream.

07. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
August 1st as it was the day that I left Toronto (for now!), flew to London and then eventually landed in my new home, Vancouver.

08. What was your biggest achievement(s) of the year?
Saving up enough money to get back to Europe for the summer and FINALLY admitting what it was that I want to do career-wise and taking steps towards making it happen, after years of procrastination.

09. What was your biggest failure(s)?
Mmmmmmm.... none really that come to mind....

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nope. Migraines.... those don't really count.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Espresso machine. Mmmmm.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
The friends that are far away and yet, they make the effort to maintain our friendships. That really means a lot to me.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
No one has appalled me, we all make mistakes... but I was a little disappointed in the people who did not make an effort to maintain our friendships. That is part of moving though. You learn a lot about yourself and the people around you.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Travelling, clothing and moving. Ha. As usual.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Coachella, going to London/France, moving to Vancouver, getting accepted into all of the universities that I applied to.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2007?
..... see my recent post about my top songs of the year. They all seem to represent certain memories from this past year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you ..
i. happier or sadder?
Happier but in a different, new way.
ii. thinner or fatter?
Thinner. I am a student.
iii. richer or poorer? Oh poorer, for sure. Going from a full-time job to part-time will do that.

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Well travelling, always but I will stop using that! Relaxation, I wish I had spent more time relaxing instead of always feeling that I needed to be out and socializing. Writing. Studying!

20. How will you be spending Christmas?
In Edmonton with the family, as I do every year. Some traditions are not made to be broken.

21. What are you most looking forward to in 2008?
Finishing my first year of university, going to Toronto for Penny's wedding, visiting all of my favorite people, finishing the book that I have been writing for too many years, new friendships and relationships ... and the new Portishead album. Ha.

22. Did you fall in love in 2007?
Maybe, I definitely fell in lust. That tends to confuse me.

23. How many one-night stands?
Surprisingly zero ONE night stands. I am growing up, you know!

24. What was your favourite TV program?
South Park...

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I never hate people. They disappoint me at times but I would never hate them. Aren't I noble....

26. What was the best book you read?
The Kite Runner, I loved that book.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Rediscovery: The Beatles. Seriously, I did not appreciate them until I saw the Beatles Cirque Du Soleil.... Damn they were good tho.

28. What did you want and get?
A new start.

29. What did you want and not get?
Mmmmm that is best not said and published.

30. Favorite films of this year?
Pan's Labyrinth (was that THIS year or late last year?), Across The Universe, Juno.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Mourned that I was no longer 21 and then accepted it and spent the evening with my friends dancing to 90's guilty pleasures and drinking more than I should have.

32.What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
If London and Toronto were not so damn far from eachother.... that's about it!

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006?
Gypsy punk meets British school girl with a failed attempt to incorporate colour.

34. What kept you sane?
I get by with a little help from my friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Male: Patrick Wolf and the guy from Across The Universe
Female: Charlotte Gainsbourg, of course.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The assassination of Benazir Bhutto. Maybe this stands out most in my mind due to how recent it is, but I think that it might have anyway.

37. Who/what do you miss?
Oh god, right now, so many people. All spread over the world. The problem with moving and travelling is that you are always missing someone.

38. Who was the best new person you met?
I am playing coy here and not telling.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007:
To take every risk that I can, as long as it is logical and not harming me or others.
Not to take the hardest path for the sake of unconforming.... Hmm that was worded rather difficultly...

40. What are you doing for New Years Eve?
A little (lot?!) of pre-drinking and then a party in Gastown, my first New Years Eve in my home city. Miss you Edmonton!

impossible things before breakfast

2007-12-30T20:56:00.000-08:00

I managed to finally upload the photos on my camera. I have photos stored on there from months and months ago; my London and France photos even. I will do a picture post one day soon, there are some beautiful ones that I would like to share.

In the meantime, that lovely photo is from a weekend trip to Victoria. We are Autumn Harvest princesses, of course. Long story.

After a really nice, really relaxing week (and a few days) in Edmonton, I have been reunited with Vancouver. It was great to get home for awhile and as much as I miss Toronto (because I really, really do!), returning to a sunny, balmy Vancouver day felt pretty amazing today.

And I now have almost a week with NO work and NO school! Tomorrow is New Years and I have plans to spend it on the town, and after that, I am enjoying a week of late nites, gym runs and sleeping in.

I want to find some artwork for my living room during the next week ..... maybe I will create it myself, maybe I will purchase from others or maybe I will alter someone's existing artwork... to be continued. I can no longer stare at the big blank maroon wall in my living room. I've been procrastinating on this for so long, too long.

Okay on to some links:

I think I blogged about this online store before, and probably this exact necklace but damn.. so cute!

Why has no one bought this yet????

Visit the website Bonadrag.

Their intro page is making me want a dream catcher for my door.... I always loved dream catchers when I was younger.

Another online store that I like to frequent:

Paraphernalia

They have a strange obsesssion with antique magic and Lewis Carroll. This I support.

And the Luella website has their spring/summer 08 collection up.

Luella

They are one of my consistently favorite brands. Maybe moreso to look at and get inspiration from, rather than actually purchase.

New Metronomy songs! I remember hearing these guys first while living in London... and I always thought they would get bigger than they have. Maybe these new songs will help.

Okay I am off for an early bedtime because it's a long week ahead of me and I am looking forward to all of it. Happy New Year friends. Maybe I will post a few resolutions on here.... probably not though. I am not convinced that resolutions are effective, whatsoever.

all is still...

2007-12-24T21:47:00.000-08:00

'Twas the nite before Christmas .... and my family is all off to bed at 10:30... What to do?
(I have been informed that if I do not go to bed soon, "santa" might not come in time....)

I kind of miss being a kid, around this time of the year. Instead of all of the crazy excitement over the presents and santa and the food, I am instead not looking forward to wrapping my gifts early tomorrow morning before the others wake up (because of course, I left this too until last minute) nor to my VISA statement next month nor to all of the dishes I will have to do with my parents when the rest of my family leaves. It's still a great holiday and all, but definitely some of the wonder has gone.

I spent Christmas Eve Day finishing my Christmas cards - I cut out snowflakes and snowmen and reindeer that sort of resemble reindeer...sort of - and going for coffee with a childhood friend and having an amazing catch up and then coming home and going with my parents and grandparents to my mum's churches Christmas Eve celebration. Once a year, we all humour her and go along. It beats tears, any day. My grandfather and I spent the majority of the service laughing at the bizarre-looking child in front of us. Sure, it's not entirely appropriate but it was a good bonding moment.

The lovely Belle and Sebastian have a free Christmas song for download via their myspace page, today only. For all of your indie-rock carolling needs; I know that I have already got my indie rock carolling on.

So happy holidays (whatever holidays you celebrate) my dear friends and strangers. I am off to read the copy of Rilke's 'Letters to a Young Poet' that my friend has gifted me with. Oh and to escape the downstairs, so that "santa" can come and fill my stocking. I heart Santa.

a wonderful, awful idea

2007-12-23T17:53:00.000-08:00

I am writing this post from wintery Spruce Grove, my hometown of 18 years. My plane landed on Friday evening around 10 at nite, to a delightful -26 degree chill. It literally takes your breath away and the lack of humidity immediately dries out your skin - I've used up half a container of Nivea Creme already.... It is always a good affirmation of why I left Spruce Grove, to come home to -26 degrees weather. My body is not made for this! Luckily today was no where near as cold.

((The Grinch is playing in the background to this post))

"You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch"

So far my vacation has been a lot of visiting friends and family and family friends, catching up with people who only enter my life once a year these days, but that I still love to see. I've also made cookies (pretty awesome ones, I have to say!), braved the West Edmonton Mall (ack!) and eaten a lot of cookies... and popcorn....and etc.

"I must stop Christmas from coming, but how?"

It's always weird but . . . comforting to come home. Spruce Grove is such a part of me, despite my love/hate relationship with the city. Now that it is only a holiday destination, it is so much easier to laugh at it's quirks and the simplicity of life here.

"The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea"

It's not for me, nor do I ever think it will be again, but it's comforting to have it as a stable part of my life. Despite all of the changes in my last year, I can still come to Spruce Grove and everything is basically the same. Sure, the road has been widened and new strip malls are appearing on each street (and a 9 story condo building, say what?!), but the values and the pace of life has remained the same. And the people that love me, and I them, are the same people and I love that about them. There is a familiarity here that I will never have anywhere else.

"You're as ugly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel"

And so, I write you this post from my home. Not my chosen home, nor my adopted home, but my hometown; the one constant location in my life, for better or for worse.

focus on the letters i should write

2007-12-17T23:54:00.000-08:00

Because I am, first and foremost, a music geek, I have an obsession every year at this time with reading every possible 'best of' list to ensure that no good music went unnoticed. I usually manage to track down a couple of good songs that slipped by me and especially this year, with the last 5 or so months being so hectic with my decision to go back to school, then to move from Toronto to Van, then to travel to London and France and then arriving in Van and starting school and working.... I haven't had much time to research new music. I've had to rely on my favorite music blogs to keep me updated (and my friends who always know my taste!).

Luckily for me, Largehearted Boy has compiled a list (and updates it daily) of all of the 'best of' blog postings.

I've been thinking over the year, trying to come up with my own best of. Here is the start of it for me (but I will probably have a new one up by next week!):

Gui Boratto - Beautiful Life

I posted on this song earlier in the year and I am still not even a little bit sick of it. It is the perfect fusion of pop and techno and lazy afternoons.

Yeasayer - 2080

Really, I talked about the album SOOO much, no surprise here. None.

Miracle Fortress - Have You Seen In Your Dreams

Ditto.

Feist - I Feel It All

I love Feist and now so does the rest of the world. I don't begrudge her this newfound popularity!

Of Montreal - The Past Is A Grotesque Animal

Of Montreal put on this bizarrely entertaining show in Brighton this summer, complete with someone onstage with a giant lobster claw. This song reminds me of that spectacle.

Bjork - Declare Independence

This song blew us away at Coachella and it's pretty powerful on record too.

Basia Bulat - Snakes And Ladders

A repeat for me. I've sounded off about Basia Bulat all year long, she is so talented.

Patrick Wolf - Get Lost

..... <3

Justice - (here is where I get stuck on WHICH song to pick because this album was definitely one of the bigger ones for me this year, and getting to see Justice in Cannes in France was an amazing and unforgettable experience, so ... any song but D.A.N.C.E. will do)

Digitalism - Pogo.

Eternally equated to feelings of elation while dancing in Cannes. This song is summer 2007 for me.

The Weakerthans - Number five on their new CD (told from the perspective of singer John Sampson's cat!). I love all their songs but this song is always on repeat. The first song I hear and the last.

Brand New - ermmm yes, my guilty pleasure of the list. I loved the entirety of their last album. There, I admitted it.

Burial - Near Dark

Burial is my late night music, much less ominous than the name suggests. I'm guessing Burial gains more notoriety in Canada in 2008.

Bat For Lashes - The Wizard

Natasha Kahn's music is like a modern fairytale set to notes. And the costumes, so jealous!

Minipop - Like I Do

I keep waiting for these guys to get huge, or to turn on a tv and find this song as the soundtrack to some amazingly perfect moment. It's like the Metric that I always wanted to love... but couldn't.

Radiohead - All I Need

Goes without saying that at least one track would appear on here. Shame on me if it didn't.

Ohbijou - Misty Eyes

The Toronto in me coming out, but this band is brilliant and this song is so lovely.

Pinback - From Nothing To Nowhere

This is the band that I turn to for long walks, I can zone in and out of the music and always find things to appreciate. Their music has a calming force on me.

Minus The Bear - Throwin' Shapes

A summer song that has lasted through the summer.

The Black Ghosts - Any Way You Choose To Give It

The Black Ghosts were one of my favorite discoveries of the year, for sure.

The Klaxons - Golden Skans

Well they gave up the ridiculous nu-rave clothing halfway through the year, so they are okay by me...

Modeselektor ft. Thom Yorke - The White Flash

Perfection. It almost reminds me of Bjork at times.

No numbering and unfortch no mp3's (my computer skills are not up to that task) but all of the above songs are located online somewhere.

Have I missed any songs that you can recommend?

Every song on that list corresponds with a memory from this year and I am pretty happy with all of the new music I was able to discover this year.

It is 1a.m. in the morning, but I clearly drank way too much coffee at work today so I am making lists instead of getting sleep. Best of lists, grocery lists, Christmas present lists. I am still way too far behind on my Christmas shopping, in fact I haven't really had time to do any! Hopefully tomorrow will be a productive day. I worked Saturday, Sunday, today and I am working Wed, Thurs and Friday... and then Friday evening I fly out to Edmonton. Time is limited....

Somehow, spending day in and day out in a mall is not instilling any form of desire to shop in me. More like the opposite.

Now though, I am going to force myself to pick up a book and drink some
(un-caffeinated) tea and get some sleep so that I can accomplish lots (or even something) tomorrow.

dancers in the dark

2007-12-14T17:28:00.000-08:00

Pardon my absence, I have been playing the roles of tour guide and stressed student for the past week. My dear friend Amanda (hi!) was in town visiting for four days and in the days leading up to her visit, I was frantically trying to sneak in all of the studying that I could. And now, my exams are over (happy) and her visit is over (sad) and I have a couple of days to relax** before flying to Edmonton for Christmas.

(**By relax, I clearly mean work as much as possible and search the city for numerous perfect gifts for friends and family)

Tonight and tomorrow though, I celebrate. I will post a proper update on the last week - the visit, the finals - on Monday.

In the meantime, a couple of good websites:

http://alloverprint.blogspot.com/

http://desiretoinspire.com/

http://www.nogoodforme.com/

All of them are worth checking out for inspiration.

I am off to catch a bus to the Quay and then the Seabus (or C-bus for Amanda!) and then a succession of buses to get to the Naam, an amazing veggie restaurant. I've got my umbrella (half-broken sadly) and my book (Margaret Atwood - Cat's Eye) and I am braving the rainy Friday nite transit chaos.

Tshuss.

the end sweeps in circles

2007-12-06T10:20:00.000-08:00

I'm taking a quick break from my mandatory studying to make a quick post. I've been learning about Critical Theory for far too long, the words are starting to swim in front of my eyes.

Vancouver is so pretty this morning: the sun is rising over the mountains and lighting up downtown and the water. I am headed to Chinatown later, where (if I remember) I will take some pictures to post on here.

I've spent the last few days locked in my house (or a coffee shop nearby) trying to learn all of the information possible. Monday, I have two final exams: marketing and communication and next Friday is my final, final: psychology.

And this Sunday, my dear friend Amanda (hi Amanda!) arrives from Toronto for a whirlwind 4 day visit. Unfortunately, my knowledge of Vancouver is pretty limited but this will force me to learn and show off the city.

So, as you see, this studying is worth it.

I received my copy of Ohbijou's 'Swift Feet For Troubling Times' yesterday and I have been listening to it non-stop. One of my top 5 CD's of the year, for sure. Up there with Minipop's EP, Feist, Patrick Wolf, Radiohead and Yeasayer.
It's been a good year, musically.

I have found a great online download store:
Zunior
For those times (few that they are) that I just CANNOT wait to get a physical copy, I must have the CD now. I don't know, it happens rarely; I like my CD insets, my copy of the lyrics, the odd satisfaction that I get from knowing that I supported the artists. Somehow I don't quite get that when I (legally) download music.

So I still cannot get Youtube to allow me to embed videos on my blog, so here is a LINK to the NEW PRESETS VIDEO.
Modular has done well, yet again. Girl and The Sea (by the Presets) remains one of my favorite songs from the last few years.
Support them, check out the video.

Okie, I'm off to shower, study a little more and then start my Christmas shopping.

It seems weird to think about Christmas when it is 12 degrees and sunny outside, no?

of nothing in particular

2007-12-03T14:41:00.000-08:00

Returning to the Alice in Wonderland theme that inspired the name of this blog, Vancouver had a very 'Lewis Carroll' feel this past weekend. On my Sunday morning walk to work, I passed snowmen amidst the palm trees on 2nd street. Some child had geniously (and probably unknowingly) sculpted a snowman directly in front of a palm tree. I loved it. Very Vancouver, very surreal.

The snow has thankfully long since melted, being a one day only phenomenon, and I hope that it is the only snow that I will see this winter.

In honour of the icy arrival of December, I have made myself a (digital) mixtape for my winter wanderings and for my upcoming studying. Submitted for the approval of the midnight society:

Basia Bulat: Snakes and Ladders
Figurines: Air We Breathe
Mew: 156
Royksopp: What Else Is There?
CSS: Knife (Grizzly Bear cover)
Jose Gonzalez: Teardrop (Massive Attack cover :)
Minipop: Like I Do
Patrick Watson: Luscious Life
St. Vincent: Now Now
Obuijou: Misty Eyes
Mono In VCF: Escape City Scrapers
The Acorn: Flood Part 1

Music updates:

Harp Magazine talks to Natasha Khan of Bat For Lashes. Definitely a songwriter I would like to get to know as well....

NEW PORTISHEAD release date speculation via The Tripwire.
Say it's so!

Non-musical link: I love, love, love this jewelry. It is all made from recycled vinyl records. And affordable and cute......

I wish I spoke French:

BLAST. I cannot get it to embed.... click here to be transferred to the link.

There is a graphic novel called Persepholis by Marjane Satrapi that this is based on. It is amazing and insightful and will be endearing to anyone with any interest in life in the Middle East. Sony is now turning Persepolis into a movie AND over at Salon.com, there is an interview with the author.

dancing invisible

2007-11-28T15:04:00.000-08:00

ONE MORE DAY. One more day and I am on vacation! (I am ignoring the final exams that are the reason for said vacation...)

It's been a good week though: I have ended up with an 82 percent on my psych test earlier this week. Take THAT impossibly difficult psych teacher. There is no pleasing her.

I also ALMOST managed to (at long last) re-procure my computer. My cute little MacBook died on me nearly 6 months ago, and since this summer was beyond hectic (world travelling and cross-country moving and all), I was unable to take it in to get fixed until August. However, it is STILL not back. After many an angry visit to Future Shop to beg for updates, I finally received news that I am likely receiving a new computer in exchange! Hurrah.

I win. Especially since my computer was an iBook which they no longer make.... meaning that I get an upgrade.

This past week was course registration for next semester and I managed to get the courses I want and even... a day off. Excellent. I'm taking:
English 100 (mandatory for transfer to SFU or UBC unfortunately)
Advertising (me and all of the business students....oh yeah)
Theories of Behavior
Social Psychology
and
Explorations in Mass Media
It sounds like it should be a good semester, save for the English 100 which is a bit of a write-off. It's 4 hours of composition writing and since it is mandatory for all transfer students, generally is full of 18 year olds who don't want to be there. Shrug.

This evening, my friend Becky and I ventured across the harbour to East Van and Main Street where we found this awesome little French cafe called Montmartre and pretended that we were overseas (not merely 'over the harbour').
Crepes = the best French invention ever.
Even here in Van-City.

In celebration, I am being lazy right now, watching SuperBad online. Guilty pleasure of a movie.

I am also completing the last of my German homework and feeling damn good about that.
These past three months have been a welcome return to the life of academics, but I definitely missed my social life. This weekend, I am half-bound to my house, in preparation for my German written oral on Monday. However, tomorrow I am partaking in some swell sushi at the Eatery with Caitlin and next Friday is Shout Out Out Out Out at Richards with my long lost friend Myrinda. And soon, there will be Toronto and Edmonton visitors taking over Vancouver with me as tour guide. And later, Christmas-time, is a busy visit home to Edmonton. Lots of people to see, lots of catching up and eating to do. Of course.

Soooo.....
Vancouver has unveiled it's 2010 Olympics mascots. They have been deemed "pokemon modern". Ha. Personally, I am a little frightened by them.... All mascots put me on the edge but those ones are particularily horrid. Run, kids.

Editors, Hot Hot Heat and Louis XIV are making a stop-off in Van-city in February.
Details here.

Pitchfork reviews Daft Punk's 'Alive 2007' CD, making me more jealous than ever at all of the missed opportunities to see that band. I'm really happy to see so much Daft Punk reappearing everywhere.

Vogue Paris has co-erced the lovely Charlotte Gainsbourg into being guest editor for their latest issue.

Maybe it's 'cause she's French or maybe it's who her parents were (Serge Gainsbourg and Jane Birkin), but I always like everything Charlotte does.

When I was a kid, my grandmother used to always watch this tv show whenever we stayed over. For years there was this one song that I heard in it that haunted me and I was forever searching to find out what it was. Fast-forward several years (into the internet age) and I had learned the song name - Teardrops by Massive Attack, of course! - and I still loved the show: TWIN PEAKS. Recently, I have rediscovered how amazing that show really was. I've been scouring the internet (uncommon for me) to find all of the episodes. I might have to give up and just rent the box set.... Perhaps something to do on one of my upcoming DAYS OFF.

I just had to get in the comment about "days off" one last time.
I'm kinda, just a little, looking forward to it :)

the better, happier you

2007-11-22T17:09:00.000-08:00

(http://www.atmostheory.com/)

I have a whole evening without school or work tonight and I don't know what to do with myself. I am sewing some curtains for my window but I have run out of thread. I want to start working on Christmas presents for my friends, but all of the stores I like close at 6 and it's 5:15 now.

It's such an amazing feeling to have an empty evening to just relax. You forget just how necessary down time is when you get busy.

I might go do some writing, or maybe catch up on my reading... or bake some cookies... or just continue to stare out my window and listen to Mazzy Star on repeat.

I needed this.

Tomorrow is the last day of this stressful week: all of my projects are done, the endless hours of sitting in front of my brother's computer, begging the words to come, are over...

I now have time to enjoy my computer a little.

Another wishlist:

http://tatebanko.com/
Tatebanko is an old Japanese art form and I have had this bizarre desire to learn it lately. When I have time, that is :)

Not only can this umbrella withstand gale force winds, but the video has Boards Of Canada music in it!

http://www.reformschoolrules.com/
Online store that I really like.

Yeasayer. http://refinery29.com/music/playlist1/11_sunrise.mp3
I can never get enough of this band. I know that I have posted this song before.... but it disappeared from my life for a couple of months.

Modular Records - out of Australia - brought me Cut Copy several years ago and they have released some amazing CD's since then. Van She is one of their better discoveries and they have a new song out.

I'm really liking it the song and especially the visuals.

"Dream alone, don't sigh, don't groan. Life is only what you wonder."
- The Kinks

go-go-go

2007-11-16T19:20:00.000-08:00

It's Friday night and I am heading out shortly for some drinks and dancing with friends and co-workers.

This week has been a bit hellish, with realising that I have a mere two weeks left until final exams. Eek? Perhaps. So with a huge marketing project due next Friday (including a 20 minute presentation) and with a communication essay (8 pages) due Thursday AND with a 10 page self-analysis due soon as well, I am deciding to say "mir egal" ("who cares?" in German) and enjoy myself for tonight.

Somehow school has taken over my life to the point of taking over my blog as well. Unacceptable, I know... alas I have nothing further to say. I did partake in a little Land of Talk and Cuff The Duke music-ry the other night as a quick distraction. I oh so dearly miss those distractions.

It's mod night at the club we are going to and I have a little purple dress that is perfect for the occasion. Happy weekend friends :)

will they wake up

2007-11-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

My current wishlist:

If I had an extra $2500 dollars, I would own this for the winter:

(Stella McCartney Fall 2007)

If I had speakers on my computer, I would listen to this song:
Lack Thereof - The Columbia

If I had an extra few hours that were not taken up by school, studying or work, I would spend it on this site:
Notcot
(Thanks Thea for passing on the link!)

And if I had more time tonight, I would write more. Hopefully everyone's weekends went well. I had an amazing time in Edmonton, I visited my friends, my family and I ate too much and slept too much (or maybe too little, I am still not sure).

Now I am back in Van - I have four shifts at work this week, three projects due next week and a big German test tomorrow. I am also determined to fit in a social life, somewhere in there.

if you want to

2007-11-11T16:13:00.000-08:00

I'm "home" right now... for the weekend.
As always, I have mixed feelings about being in Spruce Grove. It's home and yet, it's not.

However, a 50th anniversary is a good reason to come home.

Radiohead does a Bjork cover.
Unravel
And a New Order cover.
Ceremony.

New Justice:
Menace.

And because he is just so sweet, a cute picture of Owen Pallett (Final Fantasy);

And that's all for today. I am off for more family time, and then to see my god daughter and a few of my favorite high school friends.

Happy Remembrance Day everyone.

town full of revenants

2007-11-07T22:33:00.000-08:00

I awoke, turned on my computer only to find this:
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/s/afp/071107/world/india_health_surgery

Then I had to go downtown to Pacific Centre and on the seabus there, was accosted by a scientologist who tried to convince me that scientology could answer any question that psychology could not. I apparently offended him by laughing and he eventually left me.

Later in the day, on the seabus again, I was surrounded by throngs of David Beckham fans.. all racing to the stadium to capture him playing.... and I was caught up in between two arguing sports fans - one arguing on behalf of Beckham, and one on behalf of.... Wayne Gretzky?

A very strange day all around.

Unfortunately due to my leave of absence this weekend (Edmonton!), I have to work tomorrow during the day. This means missing a trip to H&M for the Roberto Cavalli opening that a friend and I were planning on hitting up. I am also missing the in-person appearance of Anna Sui at Holt Renfrew tomorrow. All this for work?! (Although I do work right next to Holt, so I might sneak over on my break)....

Hahahaha ahem:

Okay, it's lame, I know. It's German-class humour... but Ich studiere Deutsch. I am allowed.

Does it weird anyone else out when pop culture things that we feel "belong" to us - ahem, the finger mustache - start appearing in mass media????

As in:

Just a little?

And in a ploy to become more attached to this city that I live in, I am taking to reading some Vancouver blogs. I've found a couple of repeat offenders:

http://www.beyondrobson.com/
http://www.thevancouverite.com/
http://stylefinds.blogspot.com/
http://thecommodified.blogspot.com/

Und das is alles. Guten nacht alles!

Don't turn on the lights, you can read their address by the moon

2007-11-05T20:04:00.000-08:00

In honour of my grandparent's upcoming 50th anniversary and the powerpoint presentation that I am putting together for them, here are some of my favorite photos:

Their wedding!

This is my favorite photo, ever.

My mum and my dad as .... twenty-somethings. Pretty amazing hair...

My grandma and a little tiny ME!

The beginning of my love for water...

My little brother and Sanford

Mmmmm corn :) I am the perfect little Swedish child ... ha.

I love my family and I am looking forward to getting to spend some time with all of them this upcoming weekend. Unfortunately, as I have been informed, Edmonton has a little bit of snow going on! Ack. Too early for that.....

So my house has a fireplace and last week we learned how to use it. Well, by "we", I think that I mean my brother. He is off at work right now, and I tried to turn on the fireplace by myself - enjoy some tea by the fire and do my homework - but I think I turned up the heat to 30 degrees because the house is boiling! I feel like fainting.... ha. It's lovely though when it is working properly.

Today was my first pay day in Vancouver. My first pay day in fact, since I moved from Toronto... THREE months ago :) It feels like I left Toronto months and months and months ago. So much has happened since then.

One of these days I will do a proper update of my departure from Toronto, my time in London and my first proper vacation to France and then my arrival in Vancouver and school.... I kind of skipped over blogging during that whole period. So many emotions and events and changes, it was hard to articulate everything. I've had time to reflect now and I WILL properly get to that, one day.

In the meantime, le pop culture:

What can I say, I love this band although I shouldn't and I KNOW IT, oh I KNOW IT.....

(BTW I saw them in Cannes this past summer and live, TERRIBLE, but somehow... it still made me laugh. So bad, so ridiculous... but the French accents. Right...)

Alright now, no more fun for me..... It's time for some German homework. Au revoir friends. Leave me some comments if you are reading this! Say hi!

poetry and pirouettes

2007-10-31T13:19:00.000-07:00

I haven't been writing anyone back lately (sorry to everyone) I will soon resume my daily updates and messages. Email and facebook and this blog allow me so easily to cling to my past, to anchor myself in the lives of the people I have known. Not to say that this is a bad thing in any respect but in order to properly acclimatize to my new surroundings, I need to remove myself (temporarily) from all the (appreciated!) "I miss you" messages. I was spending my time dwelling on what I HAD and not what I HAVE.

I think I have things figured out now though. I have finally started to feel at "home" in Vancouver and realized that home is not a concrete concept, but instead an idea of acceptance and of comfort and compromise.

With that in mind, I have had a great week in sunny Vancouver. My parents were in town to see my new house and I got to spend some quality time with them which was great. It is amazing how much more you appreciate family time when it is limited. I also got to see Control, the Joy Division movie at long last (I will go into it in further detail later) and I got to see IamX, one of my favorite artists for the first time. It has been a great week, combined with the fact that Vancouver has finally found the sun.

As for Control, I have never cried in a movie until then. Really powerful. I was a huge Joy Division fan throughout my teens and to hear someone else perform Ian's songs and do it so eerily well was frightening. For anyone who is a fan of Joy Division, you will love the movie. I'm sure if people who don't know the band and don't know the story will appreciate it as much. Anton Corbijn did an amazing directorial job, the cinematography is gorgeous but the storyline (true-to-life) is very dark and the ending offers no comfort. Definitely a PG-13 movie :)

Radiohead signs to XL Records, officially!

One of my favorite new bands of the last year, The Black Ghosts are releasing an EP via IAMSOUND. I can only assume that it shall be grand.

Pitchfork gives my beloved Yeasayer a 7.8 rating.

New record label: Bloody Chamber Music (courtesy of a certain British singer who I have promised not to speak of) will feature re-releases of the aforementioned artists releases and an artist called The Craig Template .

This month's I-D mag is featuring Cate Blanchett on the cover, but uh, is it Cate? You can hardly tell!

I'm getting kind of a weird 'Wizard Of Oz-esque' vibe from it....

Happy Halloween to everyone!

Here's a funny article:
German Halloweener is mistaken for murder victim.

count the ways

2007-10-23T22:43:00.000-07:00

Reason # 1 to love Vancouver:

Unexpected sunny October days

Reason # 2 to love Vancouver

Unexpectedly mild October evenings when all of the lights downtown are glittering and the ocean is mirroring the reflection of the moon and when free time is sparse enough that you have learned to appreciate every minute.

chasing the moonlight

2007-10-22T19:06:00.000-07:00

These past two summers, while travelling, I have made some of the most amazing friendships and connections of my life. There is something special about meeting someone in an unfamiliar landscape and yet, their presence somehow makes it feel like home again.

In August, I was travelling through France and found myself, one night, all by myself. As much as I enjoy travelling and moving to new places, I have never really fancied spending time by myself and given the opportunity to have company, I will generally opt for it. As such, I invited a fellow traveller at my hostel out for some drinks and companionship. He turned out to be another Canadian, from Montreal, and we shared some great stories about the lesser-known parts of travelling, about music and movies (and amazingly, we had a few favorites in common) and about our shared love of languages and culture and what our future plans and goals were.

It turned out to be a really great evening and I made a new friend whom I actually connected with. These are the amazing moments when you are travelling; the ones where you sincerely bond with people over more than simply the cheapest places to get alcohol or the nearest laundromat. These are the memories that make it worthwhile, and the reasons that you keep going back.

I love learning about new cultures and I hope that this is something that I can continue to do the rest of my life. I don't know that I would ever be happy living a sedentary life and I am really happy to have people from my past that I know that I can count on for friendship and for advice, no matter where I live.

Oh and to the Montreal friend whom I met in Nice, if you read this entry, send me an email and let me know how you are doing. And thanks for a great night in Nice! It was amazing to find that kind of connection in such a faraway place.

castles burning . . .

2007-10-21T22:20:00.000-07:00

I have obtained part-time employment and am already scheming ways of saving up enough for a little Euro-vacationing early next summer.

Anyone interested in joining me should send a resume and references to:
jenna_maertz@yahoo.ca

drowning in the pools of other lives

2007-10-17T15:02:00.000-07:00

The most amazing mornings are the ones when you get to sleep in late when you know that you should really be getting up early. The ones where the sun is actually already shining when you wake up. There is nothing quite like it!

--------------------------
Measure me in metered lines, in one decisive stare,
the time it takes to get from here to there.
My ribs that show through t-shirts and these shoes I got for free;
I'm unconsoled, I'm lonely.
I am so much better than I used to be.

Terrified of telephones and shopping malls and knives,
And drowning in the pools of other lives.
Rely a bit to heavily on alcohol and irony.
Get clobbered on by courtesy, in love with love, and lousy poetry.

And I'm leaning on this broken fence between Past and Present tense.
And I'm losing all those stupid games that I swore I'd never play.
But it almost feels okay.

Circumnavigate this body of wonder and uncertainty.
Armed with every precious failure, and amateur cartography,
I breathe in deep before I spread those maps out on my bedroom floor.

And I'm leaning on this broken fence between Past and Present tense.
And I'm losing all those stupid games that I swore I'd never play.
But it feels okay.

And I'm leaving. Wave goodbye.
And I'm losing, but I'll try, with the last ways left, to remember.
Sing my imperfect offering.

- Aside by The Weakerthans

Everyone's a voyeur, they're watching me watch them

2007-10-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

Rainy Tuesdays and midterms. A fitting pairing. No personal updates today.. but a few news updates of interest:

So the lovely uh Lovefoxx (!!!) from CSS is engaged to Simon from The Klaxons.... somehow it is a good mix. I like both bands and hope this promotes more CSS/Klaxons tours.
Gossip here: http://www.nme.com/news/klaxons/31294

Speaking of Lovefoxx, she has not only agreed to front the S/S08 Luella campaign (yeah!) but she is also featured in this month's issue of POP!

Very cute :)

Some news on which kinds of soy are good for you and which are questionable.
http://ca.lifestyle.yahoo.com/health-fitness/articles/diet/greenliving/healthnutrition--dangers_of_soy
Shrug, I still love my soy.....

And finally, Pitchfork has a rather odd Radiohead review.
http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/46356-in-rainbows
Due to my midterms I am still without a firm opinion on the album.... but soon!

open wide, open up now, don't you think it's time?

2007-10-14T13:42:00.000-07:00

Two months ago this week, I was in Cannes, France at a festival by the beach. My nights were glittery, music-filled reveries and my days were ocean-side adventures. Fast-forward two months and that seems so far away. A past life.

I begin mid-terms this week. That sentence just does not seem right.

I am adjusting to Vancouver life though. Every morning when I wake up and drive to school, I still have to rub my eyes to check if this is real. All those years dreaming of living in the mountains or by the ocean, and here I have both!

I got to see my beloved Patrick Wolf this past week. He played at the Plaza Club and I dragged Caitling along with me. I know that I go on and on about my love for his music and as such, I will keep this short.... but he did not disappoint! My favorite part of it was when Patrick was, as usual, playing with his short hair while talking to the crowd.

Audience member: "Your hair looks fine".
PW: "Oh it's not that, it's just a nervous twitch".

Very endearing.

Okay THAT'S ALL.

Yesterday Caitling and my friend Becky and I went down Commercial Drive - some coffee at The End Cafe (thumbs up), a vegetarian meal at one of the streets many veggie cafe's and some painful clothing shopping consisting of Becky and I staring dejectedly at the clothing that we SHOULD NOT buy....... I then cooked dinner for my uncle and his wife and our "cousin" Jennifer. And later that night, my brother Jeff drove Becky and I to a little tiny bar in Chinatown called Hoko's where we met up with my friend David.

It's not quite Toronto here but the company that I keep is lovely and that is what matters in the end.

And for some other updates:

I downloaded (legally!) the new Radiohead album. Unfortch as my iPod has been in the brother's auto, I have been unable to listen to it .... but I will have my thoughts on it soon. Did anyone else buy it??? Thoughts?

And at the end of this month, CONTROL finally sees a Canadian release date. It screened at both TIFF and VIFF but I missed it in both cities sadly. I will be first in line to see whether Sam Riley is as good an Ian Curtis as they say he is.

NEW CUT COPY! My MacBook isn't really blogspot compatible, so I cannot properly link to things right now, but copy and paste (old fashioned, hell yes!) this link:
http://this.bigstereo.net/2007/10/11/cut-copy/#more-2184
The song is called So Haunted.... and it was recorded by the legendary (in my mind) Tim Goldsworthy of DFA fame. Cut Copy also have the privelege of touring with Daft Punk for a couple of dates. Of course, I am beyond jealous over that news. If only I lived in Australia....

And with absolutely no shame, I am posting the new Kylie song.

Kylie is the ultimate pop persona. Shrug. I'm liking this new song. I'm not sure about her look - a little too obvious on the Marilyn Monroe references but... she does it better than most.

Nme.com has news of the new Hot Chip release!
http://www.nme.com/news/hot-chip/31783
"The album will be titled 'Made In The Dark', and is scheduled to be released on February 4, 2008."
Those boys were the soundtrack to my 2006 summer in London so there will always be a spot for them on my iPod.

Alright so back to my studying. Ich muss für morgen Deutsch lernen.

On the days when the studying overwhelms me, it's hard not to dream of long nights under the stars at a beachfront festival, his arms encircling my waist and losing myself in the music and the moment. Howver, if all of this studying and school makes more memories like that possible, then it's a worthwhile investment.

the two sides of monsieur valentine

2007-10-02T13:24:00.001-07:00

So I have found myself in a new setting and totally immersed in a new life, and aside from the people, not really feeling like I am missing out on much... until last night.

I have been to only one show since arriving in Vancouver, and it was a low-key, early-to-bed kind of thing. So I *almost* forget the thrill that I get from live music.

Almost.

Last night I went to the Commodore Ballroom to see the Klaxons (who I confess, I LOVE) and it all came back to me. The whole reason that I spent so many years obsessed with music: it makes me happier than pretty much anything else can, especially in a live setting.

I am loving my school and it feels so amazing to have education as a part of my life again. I even get a dorky enjoyment out of writing essays and making flash cards: I am an eternal student. BUT I just wish there was some way of balancing my Toronto life and my student life without throwing off the equilibrium. Oi.

I will find a way :)

On that note: the Klaxons were amazing live, high energy, good crowd and a great venue. Surprisingly, there was more dancing at that show than I am used to in Toronto crowds. Maybe it was a one-off or maybe kids here ACTUALLY dance at shows!

I have also recently picked up the new Pinback and Weakerthans albums and I would recommend both.

Alright, that school life is calling. I had a Toronto-life moment last nite, now it's back to student... but I am determined that both sides of me CAN and will exist.

everyone is so near

2007-09-28T20:52:00.000-07:00

Last year, I went through what I have recently (thanks to help from a friend) come to term an existential crisis. I still deal with it every once in awhile and yesterday's post (and restlessness) stemmed a bit from that.

There are these brief moments where you allow yourself to slow down and the world gets very still and quiet and for me, these are the hardest moments. In the silence there IS NO outside distraction, just YOU and YOUR thoughts. At first these moments are terrifying and all of the small talk of your day-to-day falls away and you are left with only the big questions: the philosophical questions. The ones that are the hardest to explain and yet, the ones that you most need explained.

I read this book when I was a child about a girl who used to go to sleep every night and wake up in her dollhouse. At first it was an unpleasant experience because there was just this expanse of unfurnished white walls and emptiness and the girl got more and more depressed. However, as the nights passed and she began to get used to the starkness and the silence, it got harder and harder for her to wake up and be brought back into the world.

I feel a bit like that when I allow myself to give in to the stillness. I don’t want to go back. There is beauty in the absence of sound; In the moments when you are able to connect with the part of your self that the cacaphony of the world usually overshadows. And yet, finding this beauty is something that we all struggle with.

For me, these moments allow me to reflect on just how AMAZING and FLEETING and BEAUTIFUL and COMPLICATED life is and I get terrified about the actual concept of living and that it contains no permanence. I think that I fear impermanence more than anything. There are instances in my life that I wish I could freeze and keep in a box forever because they are just so perfect and the only thing that wrecks them is knowing that they have to end. And yet the irony in this is that if they were in fact immutable, I would never learn to appreciate them to the same degree.

I have also realized that the things that I treasure most in my life are the people around me and that my happiness is so entwined with theirs as to be indiscernible. Every person that I choose to surround myself with always has this amazing glow about them and they possess qualities that I strive to have in myself. I suppose in this way I am using them but I like to think that maybe, just maybe, they see something that they like and think that they could learn from in me.

I had one of those overwhelmingly perfect moments today while staring at a waterfall in Lynn Canyon. I was away from the clamor of the city and somehow I felt closer to my friends and my family and myself than I have ever felt before and I wanted to keep that feeling close to myself forever. In the end, that is all that matters.

a ribbon at a time

2007-09-27T15:26:00.000-07:00

I feel so restless today. It's rainy and I finished class at 12 and the only project that I have to work on is a study on works cited pages (except that in Psychology you are not allowed to call it Works Cited, it must be REFERENCES) that is about as exciting as counting the raindrops on my front porch.

No one is home to call, no one is close enough to visit.

I love Vancouver but it is very different from Toronto. The other day I woke up and put on a pair of jeans and a sweater because I got sick of people constantly asking me where I was from based on my appearance. Halfway through the day I had to change because I just didn't feel like myself.

It's a strange feeling, being this restless and not knowing what to do about it or what is causing it. In Toronto when I felt restless, I'd call up a friend and force them to distract me. I have a few friends here - great ones! - but they aren't always available last minute (or mid-afternoon as in today!). I suppose that it's time that I learn to depend on myself once in awhile and to stop running away from being by myself.

"I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center."
- Kurt Vonnegut

The life of Jenna

2007-09-26T13:44:00.001-07:00

6:30 AM - alarm rings.
6:45 AM - snooze alarm rings.
7:00 AM - panic at time and run into shower.
7:50 AM - leave house with brother, drive to campus.
8:15 AM - arrive at campus, desperately search for Hazelnut coffee.
8:40 AM - first class..... and so on.
Around 5 PM - go home, make supper.
Rest of evening - STUDY and cringe at amount of time spent indoors and not with friends or at the gym or exploring my fantastic new city.
11:00 PM - fall exhausted into bed, open book, read 4 pages and ..............zzzzz.

capturing the first moments of fall

2007-09-21T15:40:00.001-07:00

The word on the street has always been that Vancouver is a rainy place to be.

Now I don't want to jump to conclusions, having been here a mere 3 weeks.... BUUUUTTTTT a quick check out my flat window and well, the trees are looking pretty green and it does appear to be raining at the moment.

Now, what is the way to deal with this?
Why an umbrella, of course. And a good pair of boots. Then you are free to wander away.

I am off to Victoria for the weekend, but I will update properly - WITH PHOTOS! - upon my return.
Happy weekend all.

a new kind of love

2007-09-17T21:23:00.000-07:00

I have this routine that I go through when I am upset: I fill a tea kettle with water, bring that to a boil – waiting for the kettle to whistle, of course. I move that water to a pot and add a little bit of milk and then bring it back to a boil. Then I add a tea bag and let it steep until it sinks to the bottom, the liquid infused with it’s scent. Then I add a little bit of sugar and pour it into a mug with some honey. Something about the familiarity of it and then the warmth that it gives me always calms me down.

I am currently curled up on my new living room couch in Vancouver, an old Scholastic mug of my mum’s in my hand, sipping some Earl Grey and looking out through my ever darkening window.

Today one of my childhood best friend’s sisters passed away. In truth, I believe she actually passed away over the weekend, however as the news was given to me today, it will be today that my consciousness always marks as Keri-Anne's day.

Keri-Anne was two years older than me, shy and dealing with fairly severe OCD and tourettes and when I was a kid, she always frightened me a little. Despite that, her presence was always a constant in my life. If it was not a big role that she played in my life, it was at the least a consistent one. One that I took for granted would always be there to inquire about my life and to remember those little details that so many people never even really hear.

Keri-Anne’s entire world consisted of her family and any people that they brought into her life. She was never encouraged to engage outwardly nor to develop her own personality or opinions. It saddens me to know that she never got to experience the sensation of being held in someone’s arms and feeling overwhelmingly alive in that moment.

I remember waking up from a dream about Keri-Anne one night. She was trapped in a glass box watching the city go by. Her hands were pressed up against the glass and she looked so frail and alone and I couldn’t help but wonder if she didn’t want to just take her palm and smash it to pieces. I almost never remember my dreams and I have never really understood why that dream stuck with me.

Keri-anne lived a really quiet life …. but I like to imagine that she was happy. That she felt loved by the people around her and that the many struggles she faced made her proud. I cannot help but remember all of the times that we were – not mean – but polite to her. Formal. We never let down our guards around her, never accepted her as one of us. We never even sat down and asked her how she was doing and gave her the time to respond. Almost worse than being rude to her, we were indifferent.

As hypocritical as it is to say this now, but I wish I HAD taken the time to get to know her. I know, I know, everyone says that and it’s been written down so many times and we have all experienced it in our own lives and sworn to know better the next time … but then forgotten.

Now my tea is finished and these days, I am a student with a curfew ........ so my writing has to stop and I need to get some sleep. When my mind has recovered a bit and I have the time, I will post a proper update on here. So much has happened in the last nearly two months since I have written -
I moved from Toronto; I went to London and to France; I found a new kind of love and acceptance and even developed a new confidence in myself; I found a new home in Vancouver and have sculpted myself a little life and lastly, I am a student again.... I never even knew how much I missed that. I can foresee already that I am one of those people that will forever want to be a student.

And hopefully, maybe just maybe, this time around, I won't forget to appreciate the people in my life while I still have them with me.

They try to kick it, their feet fall asleep

2007-07-26T09:14:00.000-07:00

My iPod is on shuffle today, I've been too indecisive to pick what I want to listen to and there are a lot of old forgotten favourites that keep coming up. I should definitely remember to use my shuffle feature more often.

So a couple of weeks ago I posted that Roberto Cavalli is supposed to be the newest designer to do a line of clothing for H&M, well now it appears that he has roped in a few familiar faces for the ad campaign. Canadian supermodel Jessica Stam, American DJ and occasional Cobrasnake appearee Steve Aoki (along with his sister Devon), heiress (and Patty Hearst's daughter) Lydia Hearst and controversial photo-guy Terry Richardson will all be showing their support in a photoshoot set to take place in Florence. Unfortch by the time this line comes out, I shall be in Vancouver which is an H&M-less city. So I will have to take your word on whether or not the line is a success.

Speaking of international designers taking on mass-production, Gareth Pugh and Cassette Playa are supposed to be doing a line of t-shirts for Uniqlo. While I've always loved the look of Cassette Playa's COLOURFUL clothing, it's not my style... (ahem, shocking I know!) however Gareth Pugh usually gets it spot-on so I will have to do some online investigation into this one.

The Phoenix has a list of the 100 un-sexiest men of 2007. Coming in at number 100, Tom Cruise and coming in at number 1, Donald Trump. Ha. Welllll I won't argue that. I am saddened to see their inclusion of Bob Dylan in the top 10. I don't know if mocking the looks of an amazingly talented SEVENTY YEAR OLD is appropriate.

This was kind of before my time, but does anyone remember the strange rave trend to wear plastic soothers on a necklace, you know the day-glo ones? Okay well, I was a kid and I was all into that ... but in retrospect, how ridiculous did we all look? However, the absurdity of teenagers and twenty-somethings dancing with soothers is GREATLY overshadowed by a new craze: dancing with umbrella's. No seriously and we have Rihanna to thank for it. The Guardian has the story.

"Graham Jacotine, manager of The Kingly Club, points out it's becoming a common occurrence. "We don't usually play R&B, but that song (Rihanna's 'Umbrella') always goes down really well. It's funny seeing all the umbrellas come out and it's not the first time it's happened. But I suppose there has been a lot of rain recently, so it shows people getting into swing of things. Mind you, we probably won't encourage it too much in case they poke someone's eye out!"

Imagine trying to explain that black eye to your friends! Not likely.

The Guardian has also gone Canada-happy with a music special dedicated to us! I love that they are giving props to Patrick Watson, he is one of the most talented singers I have heard in a long time. Somewhere in my blog, I have posted a link to his collaboration with Cinematic Orchestra. Such a stunning song.

We're dancers in the dark

2007-07-25T08:19:00.000-07:00

I am a sucker for whimsical names, nature references, fairytale elements and pretty layers and Australian line, Chronicles of Never, seems to encompass all of these. Not to mention, their website has great artwork and haunting music.

Chronicles of Never is stocked at Selfridges in London and even though I am 80% sure that I will not be able to afford any of it, I am going to make a valiant effort to buy quality over quantity. Less Primark, more Chronicles of Never and Tofu and all of the stuff that I keep fantasizing about. Even if I only come home with one or two pieces, hopefully they will be pieces that last and that I will wear season after season, unlike the throwaway fashion of Primark and Topshop and H&M.

Bark Bark Bark - One Thing Stands
Check it.

Those crazies in Liars are back with a new song and video 'Plaster Casts of Everything'. The video kind of freaks me out but as always, I love their insanity, even if I don't get it.

Least favorite actress: Kirsten Dunst, by far (save for her role in the Virgin Suicides which I thought really suited her). Not only because she is dating a certain British rock boy nor because she refuses to shower and has insane little Bunnicula-esque teeth but because I really don't think that she is a good actress. One needs only to look at Marie Antionette (another Sophia Coppola film) for proof. Cast as the lead in that movie, she demonstrates that she cannot carry the role off. I was not captivated, I did not empathize with her, I was actually a little bored. I know that it was a costume drama and there was very little dialogue involved, but with the absence of dialogue, there needs to be something else present - like charisma - to keep the audience entertained. I didn't find that.

So WHY OH WHY is she playing Debbie Harry in her upcoming biopic? And the strangest part of all, "She chose me," Dunst says of the Blondie rocker, "so anyone who disputes that choice can take it up with her."

Hmmmm maybe I missed something?

The New York Post lists their top 100 Cover Songs. Here is their top 10:

01 "Stairway to Heaven" - Dolly Parton (Led Zeppelin)
02 "Baby Got Back" - Jonathan Coulton (Sir Mix-A-Lot)
03 "Hazy Shade of Winter" - The Bangles (Simon and Garfunkel)
04 "Nothing Compares 2 U" - Sinead O'Connor (Prince)
05 "Showroom Dummies" - Señor Coconut & His Orchestra (Kraftwerk)
06 "Smooth Criminal" - Alien Ant Farm (Michael Jackson)
07 "Personal Jesus" - Johnny Cash (Depeche Mode)
08 "Against All Odds" - The Postal Service (Phil Collins)
09 "Easy (Like Sunday Morning)" - Faith No More (The Commodores)
10 "Tainted Love" - Soft Cell (Gloria Jones)

I have to be honest and admit that I haven't heard Stairway to Heaven as done by Dolly Parton. Possibly because I am neither a Zeppelin or Dolly Parton fan....

Finally:
Yeasayer - Sunrises
I had posted the link to their song 2080 a couple of months ago and my love for this band just continues to grow. The music has strange mood-altering qualities - somehow by the end of each song, you are inevitably in a good mood.

. . . .

2007-07-24T13:46:00.001-07:00

I'm moving.
In just over a week.

. . . . .

K, that kind of just hit me now.

She wants to live in a place that has a number and a name

2007-07-24T07:17:00.001-07:00

One of my favorites, Bat For Lashes has been shortlisted for the Nationwide Mercury Prize. Congrats to the talented Natasha Khan!

Other nominees include:

Amy Winehouse
Arctic Monkeys
Jamie T
Klaxons
Maps
New Young Pony Club
The Young Knives
...among other british acts that I am not as fond of.

The winner will be announced in September.

Bat For Lashes will also be playing Field Day - one of the UK festivals that I am going to be attending!

I think I forgot to post this but I have had it lying around for awhile: Cocorosie and Patrick Wolf did a live version of Cocorosie's Beautiful Boyz (fitting!) at London's Koko back in March. The sound is murky but it's a great song and well, Patrick adds a distinct Patrick-ness (yes I am at a loss for a better description!) to everything that he does.

I wish I had been there in person to see it . . . At times the Cocorosie girls' voices can grate on me, but in this particular case, they are endearing, charming even. I think that Patrick Wolf's deeper tones balance them out quite nicely.

My dreams of someday owning a hoovercraft are getting nearer and nearer to being realised!

"Dr. Paul Moller, inventor of the Moller Skycar, has developed personal UFO. The UFO, called the Moller M200G, operates like a hovercraft, except it can hover 10 feet off the ground and glide at 50 MPH.

The Moller M200G will sell for $90,000, although the production version has yet to be revealed. The futuristic looking craft is driven by the company's Rotapower engines, and can allegedly operate up to 10 feet in altitude."

I think that might just surpass the Vespa as my favorite mode of transportation. 10 feet might not be exactly high enough to hoover over buildings but unless I were to meet an exceptionally tall person, it would do the trick with pedestrians!

Harder, better, faster, stronger

2007-07-23T08:35:00.000-07:00

First of all, we all remember THIS:

Awwwwwwwwkward.

That was Kanye West having a BREAKDOWN over his loss at the MTV European Music Awards last year. Justice Vs. Simian's summer anthem 'We Are Your Friends' took the award and Kanye LOST IT. His video cost a million dollars ya know, and he had Pamela Anderson yo.

Annnyway, in typical music industry fashion, this past weekend saw the two former rivals (Kanye West and So-Me, the director of the Justice Vs. Simian video) take the stage together, with Kanye doing a guest DJ set in Hollywood. Ha....

Seems that Kanye is also embracing French disko/electro along with the rest of us. His latest track, Stronger, samples those lovely Frenchmen Daft Punk.

Despite not really liking Kanye West, this track is working for me. Though you can't really go wrong sampling Daft Punk, now can you?

Okay all of those rumours of a Robert Smith and Ashlee Simpson collaboration are explained by Mr. Robert Smith himself:

"I would be hugely surprised if I end up working with Ashlee this year, but I haven't ruled it out. I went to see her in Chicago. We have people we both know, and I have some nephews and nieces who think she's really good. I was impressed. The fact is, when she got on stage and sang, she was really good."

"I was encouraged to issue a denial, but I thought, why? I don't deny anything. I don't see the point. I've worked with lots of different people down the years."

I've never seen Ashlee Simpson live nor can I really say that I have seen any footage of her performing but I trust Robert Smith, so if he says she's good.... well... maybe she's good.

I have no reason for posting the following.

But I enjoy posting it anyway. (Taken from the latest issue of Dazed & Confused)

Speaking of Dazed & Confused, they have a list up of their Top 50 Creative Websites. It's a good one - some of my fav sites are up there:

Fluokids - France club kids really. Lotsa good music posted there.
McQ - an Alexander McQueen offshoot page where they picked 35 myspace kids and let them choose a McQueen outfit with which they had to create an image, video or installation. Really cool and inspiring website, brilliant marketing ploy.
Joost Online tv with lots of extra features
Threadless - T-shirts that you can be a part of.

And lots of others...

My weekend was great - Friday was my work's summer outing at the delightful Toronto Islands - lots of alcohol consumed, volleyball played and a maze or two (that I got lost in... sigh). Friday evening was dinner with Penny and then drinks with Preston and Laura and later, a stop off at Nigel's loft and a visit by the Amanda's. Saturday I confess to a little shopping and then dinner with Kitty and a meet up with my friend Paul to see Harry Potter (again) and then drinks at Velvet and at Shanghai with Caitling. Sunday, Paul and I went for some sushi (never enough sushi) and then I went to work and later watched Factory Girl with Kitty. A full weekend, not enough sleep but there isn't enough time left to waste even an afternoon.

I've been trying to figure out how to ship 5 boxes full of clothing, books and photos to Edmonton. The quotes that I have been receiving from moving companies are in the $600 range which seems absurdly high to me. Luckily, it seems that Greyhound is significantly cheaper so I need to follow up on that. I cannot leave all my clothes and memories behind. Nope.
{Update: the lovely Greyhound charges only a hundred dollars to ship all of my stuff AND they pick it up at my door. Brilliance!)

Maybe you don't like monsters so much?

2007-07-22T11:08:00.000-07:00

There is an amazing market in London called the Dover Street Market which I unfortunately did not discover until near the end of my time their last year. This year I plan on hitting it up much earlier into my vacation. One of my favorite clothing lines, Commes Des Garcons, has done a special line of t-shirts specially for the Dover Street Market.

The heart is the logo for PLAY, a line put out by Commes Des Garcons and the birds have been done by Filip Pagowski. They're pretty cute and a nice change to all of the bird-related clothing out there.

I am starting to get excited about the concept of moving again, not the goodbyes and the leaving but the physical displacement part. Namely, the fact that I have a more permanent home to move into. With rooms that I can claim as my own and decorate as I please. I am looking forward to actually taking time to create a space that reflects ME, not just four rented walls.

I've found a couple of cool ideas that I might try to incorporate into the house.

I really like how they took bricks (yep those are bricks!) and sewed fabric on the outside, it's a cool idea. Great for stacking, interesting shapes and weight, I really like the concept. Although bricks in Vancouver might be a little harder to come by so maybe I can cover different sizes of boxes. . .

Yeah Yeah Yeah's fans, I have a band for you: Young & Restless. Okay so maybe they are borrowing a little heavily for Karen O & Co (the voice, the music and oh wait, yep the HAIR!) but hey... they do it well. Plus the video features crazy zombie dancing near the end. You can't deny the zombie dancing.

Check out this video: Police Police

Add to My Profile | More Videos

Most art is created with the 'look, don't touch' aesthetic for fear of physical contact changing or altering it's appearance. However, a new sculpture by Jason de Caires Taylor is embracing the concept of change.

Taylor has built the worlds first underwater sculpture park, a park designed to change as nature reclaims it.

"His sculptures highlight ecological processes whilst exploring the intricate relationships between modern art and the environment."

Some of the pictures are actually a little eerie:

Visit the official Underwater Sculpture website for more photos and info.

Anyone who has ever received a 'drinking in public' fine before will appreciate this new Smirnoff product:

It's an alcoholic drink packaged to look like bottled water. Perfect for those evenings where you want nothing more than to drink in the park and not be bothered by such things as police officers and disapproving passerbys.

Okay and finally, although I hesitate to even bring it up because every other blogger on the interweb has already weighed in on the topic buuuuuuut Beckhams arrival in LA. Wow. I am studying the whole event as if it is a case study. The idea that one person alone is having such an effect on the whole game of soccer in North America is absolutely fascinating to me. The organizers of soccer in America made a brilliant move when luring Beckham to play for LA Galaxy. He has basically singlehandedly revived the sport of soccer.

Insanity!

you're young, you're so young

2007-07-19T09:38:00.000-07:00

So did anyone else wake up to the torrential rain this morning? I thought my alarm going off was a joke; the sky outside was far too dark for it to be a morning sky.

Seems the rain caused a few transit problems this morning. Or perhaps we shouldn't blame the rain but in fact . . . an umbrella. Kind of ridiculous! I think someone made himself a few enemies this morning. Imagine, trying to jump down into the train tracks... just to retrieve an umbrella?

The new Harry Potter book isn't released until Saturday but the New York Times has (controversially) already released their review.

Those cute little welsh Super Furry Animals are back shortly (official release date is in August, I think) with their latest album 'Hey Venus'. I managed to get ahold of the album and it's lovely. If you haven't already checked them out, give it a chance or buy some of their catalog.

Something NOT to buy: The new Pumpkins album. Allmusic has the best review that I have read yet. Scathing.
However that said, I will be seeing them this fall in Vancouver. I just hope that by then, Billy Corgan realises it's the old stuff we want . . .

UK designer Paul Smith is not one to disappoint and his fall 2007 women's collection is looking pretty promising. I particularily like this coat:

I will be taking an afternoon to peruse the Paul Smith store in Covent Garden next month!

Time Magazine has posted their top 50 websites for 2007. I'm happy to see LastFM so close to the top of that list! And Etsy too!

FastCompany.com has made a list of the world's fastest cities and includes categories like Urban Innovators, Creative-class Meccas, Green Leaders and Culture Centers. There are even appearances by my current home, Toronto, under the Global Villages category and my future home, Vancouver, under the Green Leaders category.

"We set out to change the world."
"What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing, if you don't look at the world."
(Velvet Goldmine)

lemonade to the over paid

2007-07-18T08:54:00.000-07:00

I don't know if I am just a sucker for all things Scandinavian, but here is yet another Scandinavian band that I am loving: 120 Days.
(Although I cannot say that I love the name of the band. Kind of reminds me of that band from the 90's - 9 Days. What was their big hit??? Whatever it was, I remember it being stuck in my head for days....)

120 Days: C-Musik

When I grew up, I lived in a little town called Spruce Grove. Spruce Grove currently has over 20,000 people but when I was a kid, the population was probably half of that. The big predicament they currently face is the takeover of big chain stores. My favorite little bakery and restaurant have long since closed, replaced by more Safeways and Wal-marts and Costco's. Businesses also have to compete with the town's proximity to Edmonton, which tends to take business away from the local economy.

What is the solution to this??? Should they just sit by and watch as all of the local businesses fall prey to bankruptcy, unable to compete with bigger businesses?

There is an area in Western Massachusetts called the Southern Berkshire Mountains that is combating this by creating their own currency. Local banks offer "Berkshares" at the exchange rate of 90 cents on the dollar. Meaning that by spending these Berkshares, consumers are actually saving 10%.

Clever.

Okay so exhibit A:

It appears that we have someone snorting coke, no?

Exhibit B:

Your trusty coke "tools".

Exhibit C:

The outcome of using coke.

But wait.... if you look closely, this is not a "how to" on coke use. No in fact, as this final image shows us.... it appears to be a . . . dress. . . that these models are snorting.

Errrrm I'm not sure but this might just be taking fashion advertising's shock tactics just a *little* too far . .

Speaking of models, a ban on models under the age of 16 has been proposed.
This comes after last year's ban on size 0 models. It is unfair to subject kids younger than 16 to the pressures (and the peer pressures) of the modeling world and unfair to the rest of us to submit us to the curveless bodies of 14 and 15 year olds. Truth be told, I too was a size 0 when I was 15 but that is not realistic. At 22, I should NOT be a size 0, I would be terribly unhealthy. As it is, I am 5'7 and 120 pounds putting me right at the bottom of the normal weight category. Even 2 pounds lighter and I would be underweight. And these models are inches and inches thinner than myself.

It's great to see this issue finally being addressed.

On the opposite end of this spectrum, while in Michigan last week, I was absolutely astounded to see just how many overweight people are living in the US. Walking into Target (they sell this chocolate bar that my dad is always obsessed with tracking down!), my mum and I looked around and both commented on the fact that almost every person we saw could be considered overweight. And that pattern did not really change the entire time we were in Michigan.

I know that Canada is not exactly that much better (and that I am also biased by living in Toronto - one of the thinnest cities in Canada) but I have never known it to be anywhere near as bad.

The only benefit to living in America where everything is truly super-sized is that coffees follow suit. I get a larger size for the same price and don't have to feel guilty about it :)

Interpol vs. Editors. Oh the ammount of time that Caitling and I have dedicated to this debate... slightly sad, I confess. Macleans weighs in their opinion HERE.
Although I confess that their opinion contains just a wee bit more sarcasm and negativity than either mine or Caitling's ever did...

Wolfie and the sneak

2007-07-17T08:51:00.000-07:00

A really cute little Etsy store called Wolfie and the Sneak is having a sale right now. Their prints are buy one get one free (plus free shipping!).
If I had an actual fixed address to have them send the prints to, I would be sure to order myself a couple. However.... I am a bit of a gypsy these days so my online ordering will have to be postponed.

The X-Files geek in me is doing a little happy dance right about now: X-Files the Sequel has just been confirmed with David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson both signing on!

As if I needed more convincing that the UK is ever so much cooler than North America, here is YET ANOTHER amazing festival:

Happily though, this is one that is actually occuring during my time in London! And one that I can thereby attend! Brilliant.

Errrm that picture is a little small, for a proper-sized view, visit the official Field Day Festival website.

Hahahahaha thanks to Lian for the next link. I Can Has Cheeseburger. Lots of ridiculous cat-related photos and bad spelling, you know, in case that's your thing!
C'mon lookit this:

Even for those of us who are wary of cats, it's pretty cute.

And finally, because I will shortly be the adopted owner of a small dwarf hamster named Wombat, some hamster cuteness for everyone:

Harry Potter was most excellent last night and I would actually recommend it to everyone. I was fortunate enough to get to watch it on the IMAX screen, impressive! I am exhausted today though and immediately following work, a nap is in order.

I've no idea what's right sometimes

2007-07-16T10:47:00.001-07:00

Alright so I AM BACK! I took on small town America and survived nearly unscathed. Not bad.

And now I have a mere two weeks left in Toronto before I bid it farewell. So to everyone who makes up my life here in Toronto, please call me and let's hang out. I plan on leaving Toronto with (nearly) only happy memories.

Crafts are cool, don'tcha know it? The New York Times knows it. Click here.
My generous mother has deemed me old enough to "borrow" her rarely used sewing machine. I'm sure it will be useful for those long rainy nites when I am in Vancouver, knowing very few people! That's right friends: you can expect knitted scarves and book covers and unmatching clothing items to be making their appearance in your lives during the Christmas and birthday seasons!

Don't want to but I do anyway: Thunderheist. I'm still loving it.
Ahhh they are Canadian and they are electro and maybe you too will find a little love in your hearts for them.

Okay so I promised myself never to bring them up, the 'all publicity is good publicity' and all concept. However, I have been provoked - a friend sent me a link to this article: How Crocs conquered the world. The bane of my existence indeed. One of their selling points is that they are dishwasher friendly. Call me crazy but I find the concept of putting my shoes through the dishwasher slightly absurd. And look: now you can buy charms to pretty up your Crocs. Click here if you are brave enough. Errrr.

Luckily, as with all horrid trends, there is a backlash to all of this croc-fun. Visit ihatecrocs.com for suggestions on how to destroy these monstrosities and other fun ideas.

That's it, all I have to say. Really what is there to say about them that hasn't already been done???

Hahaha I love Interpol like they were my own buuuuuutttttt even I have to admit that some of their lyrics border on the ridiculous. Stylus has a brilliant list of their most cringe-worthy.

Some of my favourites:

10. "I wish I could eat the salt off your lost faded lips" (“Obstacle 1”)
3. "Her stories are boring and stuff / She’s always calling my bluff” (“Obstacle 1”)
2. “My best friend's a butcher, he has sixteen knives / He carries them all over the town at least he tries / Oh look it stopped snowing" (“Roland”)

Oh Paul.....

I have a ton of catching up in the online (and real) world to do over the next couple of days, so expect lots of updates. I am off to see Harry Potter at the Imax this evening... ha. I am a dork.

spare me the suspense

2007-07-06T06:55:00.000-07:00

So the new Interpol album is up on both the MuchMusic and NME sites. (Among MANY others I am sure!)

I have been trying to resist listening to it . . . Interpol is my favorite current band and I get a little anxious when I think about the new album. And I am still old-fashioned and want that physical copy in my hands before I listen.

However, this morning I kind of gave in and as I write this 'Pioneers To The Falls' is playing in the background. Now I've seen two Interpol sets since they started incorporating their new songs into the setlist and they always open up with 'Pioneers To The Falls'. It is a gorgeous song, truly. Everyone has been using the word 'chilling' to describe the piano and yep, it sure is... and Paul's voice is impeccable, perfectly suited to the song. I'll do a proper review of the album, after a few thorough listens.

So today is going to be my last post for probably a week. The Parents arrive tomorrow and are whisking me away, destination (as-of-yet) unknown. There have been mentions of Quebec City, Chicago, Cottage Country and Michigan; meaning that we could end up anywhere within a ten hour radius of Toronto.

Truthfully I have no reason for posting the following picture, other than well... the obvious. Enjoy!

Because you can NEVER have too much Patrick in your life. Or... at least, I can never have too much.

And clever little evader that he is:

SSO: There are rumours flooding the internet about your sexuality, so are you straight?

PW: No, not at all. My sexuality is kind of liberal. I fall in love with men and women. I guess you would call me bisexual. I like to have sex and fall in love - I don't like giving terminology for my sexuality

2007-07-05T11:46:00.000-07:00

Mmmm I love Erin Fetherston's designs. . . she captures romance, Victorian sensibilities, neutral colours and gorgeous fabrics in a way that not many others can match.

This fall she is set to debut a line for Target - us poor Canadians will be left drooling over that which we cannot have. Grass is greener and all that.

Visit her website for some of the designs.

The photos on her website are courtesy of Ellen Von Unwerth who is a former model and in an odd coincidence, also photographed the images in my last post.

Her photos are fantastic:

The style is perfect for those Erin Fetherston designs.

Missing the call....

2007-07-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

It's Thursday already, somehow this week has gone remarkably quickly! The Parents arrive on Saturday, so Kitty (my lovely roommate) and I have been doing some cleaning around the house and... ahem, catching up on some Season 2, O.C. It's true, we love it! Damn. What can I say, we were suckered in by a certain cute-ish main character.

ANYWAY... before I lose any of my dwindling "coolness, let's move on...

If you are up for some truly poppy Swedish music, here is the ever-summery Moonbabies with their track SunAM.

Courtesy of the NY Times, Carlos D (aus Interpol) claims to be out of his "hedonist phase".

“I used to be a party person but around last July I was like, you know, I’ve had enough of all this ‘Where’s the next party?’ and ‘What’s the next coolest bar?’ and ‘Let me dress up for this.’ I really lost the motivation to be in that.”

And no interview is complete without him adding: “Besides, I think I’ve done a lifetime’s worth. I mean, wow.”

This is kind of old news but worth posting regardless. In an interview with the Sun, Alex James (of Blur) reckons that he spent over a million POUNDS on champagne and cocaine in the 90's. For us North American folk, that is about 2.2 million dollars. Uh, wow! (And THAT 'wow' beats Carlos D's 'wow' by far) A million pounds buys one an awful lot of alcohol and cocaine, even at UK prices. Not to mention the fact that musicians tend to get a lot of freebies. A LOT.

Hurry before this link exprires: Shout Out Louds get remixed by Studio.
Impossible
They are indescribably adorable and this remix showcases that more than ever.

I'd like to introduce everyone to the band South Central. They've been dubbed the British Justice" and have remixed Van She (one of my fav. Australian bands - Modular Records, of course!) and the Klaxons, among others. Check out their myspace page or click HERE to hear REVOLUTION, their first single.

2007-07-04T09:41:00.000-07:00

So Pete Doherty recently published a book. It's called The Books of Albion and probably not-so-shockingly, it has been getting mixed reviews.

One of those reviews (an Amazon reader review) is as follows:

14 of 27 people found the following review helpful:

"Almost four years ago I was in a car accident.
The car contained my parents, my sister, her baby and my girlfriend. I was the only one who survived - the rest of my family were killed almost instantly and my girlfriend (I later found out) survived for a few days in a coma and then died. I was badly very injured and had to have a leg entirely amputated and the other leg amputated at the knee. My spine was severely damaged and I am now confined to a wheelchair. I am typing this with a unicorn stick.

I suffer constant flashbacks and I suffer from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I can hardly sleep and need feeding and changing.

My life is a mess, but you know what? It's still better than reading this book."

Ouch.

How are things on the West Coast?

2007-07-04T07:10:00.000-07:00

New Transformers movie anyone? I've heard that it is TERRIBLE - just one big GM commercial. Damn.

First off today: The Horrors are remixed!
Death At The Chapel (Remixed by the Dirt Lab)

And Blood Red Shoes (out of Brighton!) are remixed:
It's Getting Boring By The Sea (Remixed by Blamma! Blamma!)

Continuing with the Brighton love ('cause we all know that Fujiya & Miyagi started it for me a year ago) this is a track by fellow Brightonians Tarzi.
Animal Signal

And speaking of Brighton, I will be there to see Of Montreal on August 3rd, the second day of my UK trip. Exciting times ahead. . .

Speaking of exciting times, the Parents officially purchased a home pour moi yesterday. And while I am still a little short on the details, click HERE to see more.

It's small but pretty home-y looking. I look forward to not having to move every 6 months! And to being able to paint away the hideous yellowy-orange paint!
Besides 3 blocks from the beach, close to markets, coffee shops and art galleries and on a mountain.... mmmm... I am sold!

Okay and one more Teenagers track that I am posting because well, if you don't know them by now, it's time for a proper introduction. And this song, really only consists of "We are the teenagers"... which means that it is appropriately titled AND a good introduction.
The Teenagers - We Are The Teenagers

Some eco-accessories:

Much more asthetically appealing than a plastic bag! I have been scouring Toronto for a nice one to replace my tattered London one of last year... but nothing yet. Perhaps I am meant to wait until London this year for another.

I've always liked Milla Jovovich's sytle and while her partner in fashion tends to always look like she is one step away from death, I like the fashion that they are creating together:

Damn, this site is all Flash so I cannot grab any of the images except for this one:

But visit the official website HERE.
They have a product coming out called REVEAL. "Reveal is a new type of ambient interior lighting.
This product creates the impression of sunlight streaming through a window and onto an interior wall. A light breeze appears to move through trees in the cast image."
I love the concept of creating light and movement where there is none.

I also like artwork that uses the concept of lighting. I was browsing the website etsy the other day and found this artwork that I am really fond of:

The artist is from Oslo and that is kind of reflected in her art - the colours, the importance placed on the lighting, the simplicity. I might save up for one of her prints. My new home is going to need some artwork!

2007-07-03T08:42:00.000-07:00

Awww long weekend is over ALREADY? I got a little too accustomed to sleeping in, waking up whenever the dawn prompted me, leisurely making my way to the gym and then to the coffee shop afterwards and spending my evenings enjoying the company of my lovely friends. I could use more weekends like that.

You'd be surprised just how much fun can be had without really spending any money!

Oh and I got the chance to see one final Final Fantasy show before I leave. Always a treat - esp. this time when it was FREE!
Final Fantasy - If I Were A Carp
He always reminds me somewhat of a Canadian Patrick Wolf. A huge compliment to him!

The parents are set to be in town this weekend and the weekend afterward. They are currently in Vancouver, searching out condos and houses - a home for me! I look forward to a somewhat more permanent home.

how are things on the west coast?

2007-06-29T07:23:00.000-07:00

It's the Friday of a long weekend and I am stuck at work, one of the few people not smart enough to have booked it off. HOWEVER although I am AT work, I do not exactly foresee a lot of actual WORK getting completed.

To start off the non-work, work day, here is the new Interpol video for 'The Heinrich Maneuver'.

I have resisted downloading the album as I am old-fashioned and want to feel the actual copy in my hands and stare at the cover art while I am listening to it. Even though the cover art consists of STRANGE animal dioramas. . .

'Our Love To Admire' is out on June 10th (that is > two weeks from now!).

The drugs don't work

2007-06-28T09:40:00.000-07:00

Two more photos from the Patrick Wolf/Burberry campaign.
I <3 him like no other.

Big news: The Spice Girls have CONFIRMED a reunion tour to take place in December and January. The BBC has all of the details. Here. Canadians wanting to see this monumentary occasion will have to make the trek to New York or LA, as there are (as of yet) no Canadian dates scheduled. I confess to owning a Spice Girls CD or two in my youth - and before you mock me, keep in mind I was a mere pre-teen when they were at the peak of their popularity.

Vive le girl power?

And in other reunion news, the Verve are also reuniting. Despite repeated claims from Richard Ashcroft that a Verve reunion was as likely as a Beatles reunion. Hmm well it appears that hell has frozen over and all of that jazz. Check out the Sun for the details. As for me, I think I'd like to remember them as they WERE, not as they ARE. I was never particularily fond of Richard Ashcroft's solo work, it just never came close to the Verve for me.

Next on the reunion wish list: The Smiths. C'mon Morrissey!

And finally, an umbrella for the inseperable!

Anyone want to double with me?!

what we have here is a dreamer....

2007-06-28T06:22:00.000-07:00

New Dries Van Noten 2008 line.

I love the updated '80's electro (ala Carlos D of Interpol circa 2006) meets top 40's dancefloor shine'... and the addition of a material that looks pretty stroke-able.

Miu Miu Spring 2008

I shouldn't love heels and socks but Miu Miu makes it look pretty covetable, no? Personally I am sold!

Pretty summer Chloe images (today has been a bit of a fashion catch-up day! As you can see)

I keep catching myself enviously eyeing other people's long, brown hair and this is prompting me to consider a return to my roots. Although the blonde is a step closer to being au naturel than my black ever was, it's still not quite there.

David Lynch + Gucci = ?

Gucci has apparently hired David Lynch to direct the commercial for their new fragrance set to debut this fall. Apparently “Lynch was selected for his holistic ability as an artist, his professional experience and knowledge, his never-ending research for beautiful images, his use of music and his modernity.”. I guess in a strange sense, it makes a bit of sense. I am looking forward to seeing how this union will be consummated. . .

Alright so long weekend is almost upon us! Time to celebrate being a proud Canadian - even if I'd trade my Canadian citizenship in a second for one of those snazzy British or Swedish passports...

Harbourfront has all the entertainment that a Torontonian could need. As in: Sunday night at 8, the ever fascinating - and awkward to say! - Do Make Say Think are playing, followed by the adorable Owen Pallett's Final Fantasy.
And the best part? IT'S FREEEEEEEE!

bow my head to the battle

2007-06-27T07:17:00.000-07:00

Moving makes me manic.

I'm slowly starting to allow the stress to overwhelm me. . .

But we don't talk or think about that. We just push it to the back of our minds and focus on the present. Always effective, I know!
On to some pleasant distractions:

The Bumblebeez come to us courtesy of my favorite Australian record label, Modular of course. This video has to be one of the best, ever.

It hasn't grown old yet...

There are two sides to every story and here is the other side to one of Toronto's more infamous concert bookers. Dan Burke..on himself.

Patrick Wolf, model?

The lovely Patrick Wolf will be one of the faces of Burberry's Fall 2007 campaign. Yours truly will be sure to pick up every copy of every magazine that features said advertisements. Edward Larrikin of the short-lived (but much-loved) Larrikin Love is also featured in the campaign.

Speaking of Patrick Wolf, if you haven't heard the b-side "The Marriage", click here to take a listen. Of course I am biased . . . but I like.

I've always been a fan of using alliteration whenever possible. Likely it is the grammar geek in me (I know, I know, it's not really grammar-related, I just like the sound of 'grammar geek'...). Thereby I have always enjoyed saying "sychronized swimming"... now I have another sort of sport to add to that: bike ballet.

The video is by one of my favourite artists, Bat For Lashes and I love the Donnie Darko-esque nighttime animal sightings and how well it all complements her style. And of course, I like the bicycle acrobatics and kind of wish that I had a bike to try some of those at home with.

2007-06-26T07:34:00.000-07:00

New Go! Team
- Grip Like A Vice

Like a bird in an aviary

2007-06-25T13:36:00.000-07:00

With just over a month until I leave for the UK again, I've been keeping up-to-date on my UK street fashion. You know, just so I know what I am in for!

One of my fav UK street fashion blogs is Savvy London. Check it out.

I think half of the reason that I am so in lust with the UK is how open they are to new fashion and to individuality. The high street has definite fashion trends but I always feel like people INCORPORATE those into their own style, whereas in Canada, it feels more like whatever the current trend is BECOMES the general populations style.

I am also loving the new Dolores O'Riordan solo album. Dolores was the lead singer of my guilty/not-so-guilty pleasure 90's band, the Cranberries. What can I say other than she has an amazing voice that reminds me of back alleys in Ireland, with the sun setting against a stunning background and a pint in my hand.

Mmmmm.

Been fooled again

2007-06-22T06:32:00.000-07:00

When I "grow up", I want to be just like Charlotte Gainsbourg.

And further proof that France does it better than us, some old school Chanel and Vanessa Paradis circa '92.

For those of us who have problems getting dressed in the morning (I'm talking pre-morning-coffee when even opening your eyes is a struggle) behold! The perfect solution to this dilemma:

{{Edit: Just in case you cannot actually tell in the picture, that is indeed a skin-coloured t-shirt with a bra BUILT on the outside. That's right. Never again will you leave the house and STOP in a panic wondering, 'did I remember to put on a bra this morning?'}}

Photo courtesy of FaceHunter

Modular meets Canada.

Van She Tech remixing Feist's "1234"

When I was younger, I had this idea that if I ever had a child it would be a boy and I would name it Brighton. I don't know why I chose Brighton, but apparently my obsession with the UK started at an early age. Everyone told me that was kind of a strange name for a kid. However these days, considering the names that people are coming up with, Brighton actually sounds pretty acceptable. In comparison to say, 4Real. No seriously, for real. Check out this article.

And I don't like to sleep alone

2007-06-21T06:25:00.001-07:00

Motorcycle taxis?

"Business travellers stuck in traffic on their way to Amsterdam's Schiphol Airport were in luck last week, as knights in shining leather were ready to zip them off to their flight on the back of a motorcycle. Three yellow bikes covered the busiest roads near Amsterdam between 7 and 11 am, and were reachable via a designated phone number. Each bike held a second driver, ready to take a stranded driver's car to Schiphol's Valet Parking, where it could be picked up after the trip. The bikes used can easily stow a piece of carry-on luggage and briefcase, and passengers were provided with a helmet."

I don't know that I would trust a motorcycle taxi..... Although I do approve of the yellow!

I love Deerhoof; I don't get them, they confuse me, but I love them despite. When I read that their song 'Blue Cash' was going to be used in a commercial, I got a little concerned. However, when the video is THIS cute (!) how can you not love it?

Generally whenever a commercial gives me a craving for their product, I cringe with how easily I am swayed but damn I could go for some fruit juice right now and I have absolutely no shame in that!

Now, if anyone has some extra cash that they should feel wont to part with, I propose supporting McSweeney's right now. I would dearly miss McSweeney's if it were gone, so please, BUY some clever t-shirts or some artwork...
All the details on their troubles HERE.

New Radiohead tracks? Are they, aren't they?

You just never know with those boys . . .

I don't know if I can properly explain this but for some reason, Daft Punk concerts always remind me of a Jetson's episode. They have some strange futuristic, flying cars, robotic maids effect on me. This is helped along by the fact that it seems that I will NEVER get to see this band live. Perhaps they really do exist in another world to mine. However, even seeing clips of them online give me the chills, so perhaps this is for the best!

Daft Punk played Hyde Park in London (right by where I used to live!) this past weekend. Here is a clip, admire their brilliance, be jealous of their genius, pity me for the fact that I move from Toronto a mere 5 days before they play here.

Seriously, brilliant. I hope to not have to hear how amazing they are when they play Toronto.

Goodbooks are out of the UK. They play good songs and know their history.
Passchendale

Speaking of the UK, this article on "chavs" was sent to me by a British friend. Ha ha, seriously it's ridiculous.

Oh and a final thing: the newest designer to partake in some H&M fun has just been announced as Roberto Cavalli. Hmmm I'm not sure how I feel about this.... I loved the Stella McCartney and the Viktor & Rolf lines but Roberto Cavalli seems a little off the usual H&M path.
To be continued. . . Or for more on this collaboration, click HERE.

a whisper would shout down most of my ego

2007-06-19T11:51:00.000-07:00

"My spiritual animal is a giraffe, because you know I relate to it most; being very tall and liking the colour yellow."

- Patrick Wolf
(during an interview with the Guardian

I had to post that quote, it always makes me smile....

Toronto is in the midst of yet another crazy rainstorm. It's 4 pm and I am procrastinating on going home for fear of being completely drenched. I don't really fancy arriving at the gym already showered.

Anyone who knows me well knows of my fear of gnomes. And yes, yes you can tell me they are innocent little creatures but... read THIS
Not so innocent, now are they?!

During my recent procrastination, I was surfing the internet and came across the number one song (in the UK) during the time when i was born:

Dead Or Alive - You Spin Me Round (Like A Record)

Awesome! Clearly I was destined to be this cool.

"For today I am a wild creature
And tomorrow I will be lost again"

- Larrikin Love 'On Sussex Downs'

I never wanted to be the one...

2007-06-19T08:19:00.000-07:00

Trabant - The One

My blood beats black tonite

2007-06-18T08:42:00.000-07:00

This past week's playlist:

Kate Nash - Foundations
Misha - Weatherbees
The Black Ghosts - Anyway You Can Boy (8-bit Remix)
Neils Children - Window Shopping
The Teenagers - Sunset Beach
Simon Bookish - Michael (Franz Ferdinand cover)
Patrick Wolf - Bloodbeat
Cloetta Paris - I Miss You Someone
Hot Club De Paris - Clockwork Toy (Metronomy Remix)
Matt & Kim - Yeah Yeah
Digitalism - Pogo
Calvin Harris - Born In The 80's
Leafcutter John - Now

Okay despite my dislike of the Jackson 5, I have to admit that this year's Justice summer single D.A.N.C.E. is growing on me. I really did try to resist it - anything with children's voices, ugh, but DAMN those French boys can make even THAT work. I am still blown away by how big Justice is these days. It's strange to hear it played in a top 40 club in downtown TORONTO and see everyone dancing along and mouthing the words. Not just indie kids, but Richmond street Fergie-cloned club kids. It's a little surreal!

When I think of last summer, there are 3 songs that stand out as my London songs:
Hot Chip - Boy From School
Goldfrapp - Fly Me Away
The Presets - Girl and the Sea (the Cut Copy remix)
..... and although I knew the song before the summer, London 2006 was all over Simian vs Justice - We Are Your Friends. EVERYONE was dancing to that song - from Hoxton to Bayswater. It was pretty phenomenal. I don't know if I will be able to deal with hearing D.A.N.C.E all over London this summer but hell, it could be worse!

So far this spring's songs have been:
Digitalism - Pogo
The Black Ghosts - Anyway You Can Boy
The Teenagers - Sunset Beach.
I'm excited to see what is still to come (especially since it's not even technically summer here in Toronto, despite the weeks on end of 30 degree weather!).

And speaking of Digitalism, as I like to frequently do: their album is out TOMORROW in stores. You can be sure that I will be hitting up HMV before work to procure that one even though I have pretty much every track downloaded already. I'm old-fashioned, I like my physical copy.

Some e-cards for those people who you love to hate or hate to love.

Ha ha. Ten Teen Looks - an article from the Guardian. I love this... and confess that I probably fit into at least one or two of those labels throughout my teen years. Although, it might only be my computer but I couldn't see any photos on that... only the descriptions. Still worthwhile and humourous. A little cynical but that's only appropriate. It makes you admit to how ridiculous all the labels that we place ourselves into are. And as a twenty-something, I don't know that things are any better!!

While NOTHING is enough to make me GIVE UP coffee, this picture might make me reconsider my second cup today....

The amalgamation of coffee and a petri dish into one frightening image. Ew.

I like the Klaxons. I like bright colours. I like to laugh at the concept of nu-rave. What I don't like...... is this:

New rave inspired sneakers. ENOUGH already. I hope people realise just how short a shelf-life this fad has....

So I was never very into computer games as a kid - although I confess that I had a strange obsession with a game called the Beast Within, possibly because it was set in Germany and likely because it dealt with werewolfs...ha - but I do remember playing the occasional Sim game. I mean, it's a cool concept and the perfect way of escaping reality (if you're into that sort of thing!).... HOWEVER in the newest version - Sims 2 - your character can actually go shopping at.... H&M???

Behold!

Something about this is sad to me. I remember when I was 16 and in Berlin and Hamburg, H&M was a huge treat to me. Then I moved to Toronto at 18 and shortly after, an H&M opened and I was ecstatic. Now though, it's become so commonplace that I rarely shop there for fear of everyone I know showing up in the same outfit. Why bothering dressing up if you are dressing up exactly like everyone else???

Although according to the H&M Canada website, my future home - Vancouver, does not have an H&M. Can someone explain this to me, please?!

Libertines to reunite at Glastonbury? - Courtesy of NME.
"Both Dirty Pretty Things and Babyshambles play the event and The Mirror suggests the two frontmen will also play a get together, the first since reuniting onstage in April at the Evening With Pete Doherty shows at Hackney Empire."
If the Libertines reunite for Glastonbury and I MISS IT, ergh..... I'm never in the UK during the right times! First I am missing Patrick Wolf because he plays an UNDERAGE-ONLY festival when I am there - further proof of my aging... I am too "old" to attend the festival - but now, I might be missing a Libertines reunion. A sign that I need to permanently reside in the UK???

I hate shorts on guys.
Detest, detest, detest.
I hate that they wear sandals with shorts or heaven forbid, socks and sandals or socks and shoes. There really is no attractive way of wearing shorts and mens footwear.
However, it appears that I have found the one and only exception. I LOVE the above shorts. Love them. I still HATE the socks and sandals (socks & sandals on a runway? Really, have we come to that?) BUT aside from that, I really like the shorts.

Okay that's all - I just had to post those shorts. I feel a little like I have just found out that unicorns do exist!

Because of course, they do.

2007-06-15T09:32:00.000-07:00

Radiohead news! At last! I cannot resist posting Radiohead news.
"A word from the studio, yes I know its been a while ..... but we've been working on this album for a while ...... BUT WE ARE NEARLY THERE ....."
Check out Dead Air Space for the blog or NME for further details.
Hurrrrrrry up Radiohead!

I have a theory that almost ANYONE who spends any amount of time in California turns into a bit of an LA clone. Further proof, click here.
Lily Allen with a suntan? Something that would NEVER happen in London. And the makeup, why the makeup?

Todays music choices are The Teenagers (a little bit of French goodness and offensive, yes sir a little bit offensive!) and The Black Ghosts (some London lovelies....) Check out both bands.....

too many dreams, not enough schemes

2007-06-15T09:21:00.001-07:00

How is this for brilliant advertising?
Read up on it HERE.

Someday we will all be ghosts....

2007-06-14T09:31:00.000-07:00

No more stress, no more panic. I am giving into that little naggling (yes naggling) feeling that keeps telling me

:just go with it:

I'm going with it. Meaning: I'm going.

Au revoir, dear Toronto. We have had an excellent run and I am sure we will have affairs and flirtations in the future. As everyone keeps telling me, this is not "goodbye", this is "see you later".

Life is pretty great right now. A constant flurry of changes that I can barely keep up with and don't even feel the need to try. I've made my decision on school, I just secured a place to stay in London (and owe a million thanks for that one!), my European flights are all booked, the next month in Toronto holds some great things for me and my parents will soon be in Toronto to visit me. I can't think of anything to complain about. Even the weather is being cooperative. Cloudless sunny blue sky, slight cooling breeze and gorgeous temperature.

So I found this really cute little online store with a tote bag that I love. Go check out the stuff HERE. I'm a sucker for it. And for the stories behind all of her catch phrases. Read the "Someday we will all be ghosts" one.

C'mon, how cute is that???? I like seamonsters too. Especially Ogopogo who I was pretty convinced that I saw when I was a child.... He's a cute little fellow.

And now, lunch beckons.

what is there to answer if I'm the only one?

2007-06-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

..... today is a painfully slow day at work. Meaning that the internet has been given the task of amusing me. Behold, PostSecret. I love this site and here are a couple of reasons why:

THE HORRORS!

So I went to see the Horrors at the Mod Club last nite and despite all of the critical harassment those Brits have received, I LOVED IT. Maybe it was a throwback to my youth, maybe it was just a good show, eitherway the Horrors were ahem, "bloody brilliant" (for lack of a better description!)

I have one complaint tho: to the girl wearing heels with spiky points, IN THE SUMMERTIME when most sane people (Caitling, you are excluded from this particular rant!) are wearing flats, please please please DO not try to force your way through the crowd. You are trampling on the exposed (and unprotected) feet of the people that you pass. And uh, it HURTS. I have a delightfully spreading bruise on my foot and I've developed a pretty awesome limp. Heels + shows = NO. Just say no.

Onwards. For anyone who thought THEY were an awkward kid.... ha, check this video out. Talk about feeding into the homeschool stereotypes... No seriously, WATCH THE VIDEO. It's even labelled "Most.Awkward.Video.Ever".

The Big Mac Index - economics and McDonalds?

I am late posting these links but I cannot stop listening to the new Miracle Fortress album. Wow. I haven't been so excited about an album in it's entirety for awhile.
Have You Seen In Your Dreams
Beach Baby

The Justice album is FINALLY out. Pitchfork has a review up, as do half of the blogs across the world. Don't care what you say, those boys are French and charismatic and damn good....

And speaking of those crazy French boys, I will be seeing Justice in Cannes this summer. They are playing the Festival Pantiero, August 15-19 in Cannes, France along with CSS, Dilated Peoples, Cut Chemist, Princess Superstar, Vitalic, Wax Tailor, MSTRKRFT, Digitalism, Teenage Bad Girl and others. My tickets are finally booked - after much struggling through the French-only website.... Hopefully my elementary sschool French served me well and my tickets are in the mail....

If I happen upon a large sum of money (anyone feeling generous?!) before this summer, I plan on a trip to Sweden... and if I go to Sweden THIS is the hotel I will be staying at.

Look at the hotel rooms!

And the hotel itself. Sweden does it so much better! Seriously.

For better or worse, I got my acceptance into Capilano College in Vancouver. If I say "Yes", I start there September 1st. Apparently in order to get answers, all you need do is persist. Call them until basically they give you what you want in order to silence you! Good to know, I suppose.

My deadline to give the official go-ahead to York University (here in Toronto) is Friday. How does one make this decision?

I couldn't sleep last nite, saw the sun rising, tried to clear my mind, tried to weigh the pros and cons of life here in Toronto vs. a new life in Vancouver.

And no one can help me make this decision.

"I have called you children, I have called you son.
What is there to answer if I'm the only one?
Morning comes in Paradise, morning comes in light.
Still I must obey, still I must invite.
If there's anything to say, if there's anything to do,
If there's any other way, I'll do anything for you."

- Sufjan Stevens
For The Widows In Paradise; For The Fatherless In Ypsilant

2007-06-11T13:41:00.000-07:00

I have a crush.

Cloetta Paris

Oh wait, nope I have two crushes.

Gui Boratto
(Watch the Beautiful Life video)

Those dreams are not as daft as they seem

2007-06-08T11:11:00.000-07:00

DIGITALISM!

POGO.

Seriously, I love them. I love love love that song. And in two months time, I get to see them live again.

Great Friday afternoon music. Especially when Friday afternoon is 29 degrees outside and the evening is full of the promise of good music and good friends.

There she goes again . . .

2007-06-07T08:44:00.000-07:00

I hate stress. I always make jokes about how my work doesn't pay me enough to be stressed out, but what do you do when it's not work that is stressing you out? When it's life in general. Well, life DEFINITELY does not pay me enough to be this stressed. Alas, it's good for the body in some respects; there has been a lot more gym action going on. Have to work off the stress somehow!

Anyway, I have one week left until I have to put money down for York and I still haven't heard back from Capilano, my school in Vancouver. In a desperate bid for results, I have my mother calling the registrar for me. I need answers and my parents need answers.

Besides, all this talk of condos and oceans and mountains has me aching for the West Coast. I've tired of looking out my window and seeing only tired brick houses, the CN Tower - foggy - in the distance and the skyline of an anonymous North American city. I think I need a change and I could use a little fresh air.

As I have already stated several times, I am terrified to leave Toronto. The thought makes me want to cry. I was 18 when I moved here - young and naive - just out of high school in a small town - 15,000 people to what, 3 or 4 million. It was life-changing and I have become an entirely different person. Who would I be if I had not left? I don't recognise the person that I left behind. I am much happier; much stronger; much more comfortable with myself; much more experienced. On the downside, I am more wary of the world and a little more jaded but if those are the only scars I have suffered from Toronto, then it was a successful 3 years.

Enough seriousness, onto some links:

So apparently if you are rich and have stress, you just buy your way out. Sorry for the pop culture interlude but this is ridiculous. Paris Hilton goes to jail for THREE days and then is out for "medical reasons"??? Hmmmmmmmm.

I feel it all, I feel it all!

2007-06-01T06:35:00.000-07:00

I don't particularily enjoy computers. I enjoy the internet and the millions of ways of communication it provides us and I enjoy the Word feature and photoshop (because most of my photos NEED it!) and above all, the access to new music that it affords me. Beyond that though, and in my free time, I prefer to avoid it if possible.

Last night however, was kind of rainy/cloudy/overcast and I was exhausted from not sleeping due to heat and felt neither like going to the gym or calling a friend to meet up, so I pulled out my laptop and started browsing online. My favorite pair of shoes - these admittedly hideous silver "slippers" that I wear outdoors - have recently given out entirely and so I figured that maybe I could research some new shoes. I have traipsed down Yonge Street, through Eatons Centre and Queen West and have yet to find a pair of shoes that I like enough to buy. (Except for a pair of Miss Sixty's that come in this lime green and purple that I LOVE LOVE LOVE but know are too impractical and too expensive to actually buy. Damn. But look, how cute:

Okay the colour scheme on that photo is wrong, but still... I want. ANYWAY. I somehow navigated my way to eBay in search of this pair of shoes that I had last year and somehow left in the UK. I found them and the starting bid was CHEAP! So I created an account... uh and went a little crazy. Soon I had bid on a pair of vintage Pirate boots, a Free People cream tank top (what's up with me and light colours this year?!), a cameo necklace and this cute strapless dress that I REALLY want to win (don't outbid me please!). Luckily I lost a couple of the bids but did end up with the boots (size 7!) and the tank top... for a really good price.

A new addiction has begun.

Uh . . . onto music now. A new New Pornographers track is up on Kingblind. Click HERE to listen. I need a few more listens before I decide anything but to be realistic, I love basically all of their stuff so this song is sure to be no different.

I remember back (not so long ago) when Patrick Wolf was portrayed so innocently and introspectively in the press. I think that those days are over, however as long as his music continues to be so amazing, who am I to complain? During a recent performance at MissShapes in New York, Mr. Wolf had a bit of a tantrum (giving him the benefit of the doubt as I am apt to do, he probably had reason) and fired his drummer ONSTAGE and of course, someone caught it on tape and put it up on YouTube.

So today is Friday and that means another busy weekend. Tonite I am having drinks with Diane and probably making a stop-off at Christella's 21st birthday party. Tomorrow during the day I need to do some overtime to PAY for my eBay purchases (ha) and then I'm cooking dinner for Caitlin and Amanda and then we are doing a bit of a bar hop. And Sunday should be low-key, going for coffee with my friend Mike and then the gym and then my roomie Kitty and I are doing a little sewing - deconstruction of some of our old clothes! Pictures of the results to follow.

Happy weekend everyone!

Before you hurt yourself, STOP!

2007-05-31T08:57:00.000-07:00

Judging from the 3 people wearing masks that I passed on my way to work today, it appears that summer has begun.

To celebrate the incessant heat and grey smoggy sky, let's bring out some summery pop courtesy of New York band Misha who are signed to Tomlab, one of my favorite record labels.

Another band that I am loving at the moment: Yeasayer. They are on tour with Frog Eyes, who shhhhhh I don't really enjoy that much. Yeasayer's album is coming out on Monitor Records apparently and you should listen to THIS song. I am a little concerned about the ending of the song (children's voices, always a little creepy) but that part is short and the rest is so good that I am overlooking it!

I love Marc Jacobs - not that I can AFFORD it, but looking is always fun - and I love this shirt. I don't know why but that bird makes me laugh. That and the fact that it is purple, what can I say, I am a sucker for anything purple. It's just such a good colour!

A London clothing label that I LOVE, for more reasons than merely their name: TOFU (although their name WAS the reason that it caught my attention initially!) Their stuff fits my current likes and also my past love of all things darker. Lots of lace and layers and unique touches. A little bit Victorian, a little bit mod. I cannot wait until I am back in London for some shopping!

And finally, one of my favorite actresses, Audrey Tautou is going to be playing Coco Chanel in a biopic about her life pre-fame.
This is definitely a film project that I will be keeping my eye on!

Oh and until June 3rd Threadless, a great online t-shirt store is having a TEN DOLLAR sale. Yes I know that is $10 American but the dollar is at .93 right now, so really, fork over the extra 70 cents and you can get some pretty cool shirts. I am getting the 'Zen Gardens Make Me Angry' one!

That's all... I am taking off early from work with high hopes that I can make it home before the sky starts leaking acid again. Au revoir!

i love the way we come undone

2007-05-30T10:55:00.000-07:00

It's been awhile since I have posted any links to things that I am liking, so I'm going to start doing that again.

Here is a trailer for the new Ian Curtis Biopic
I cannot wait.

I cannot stop listening to this song:
Basia Bulat is from London, Ontario but signed to Rough Trade in London, England. I love rough trade, I love Basia Bulat's stuff. You might too.

Another current musical love:
New Cinematic Orchesta ft. Patrick Watson

Fashion geekdom that you SHOULD already know:
The Sartorialist
FaceHunter

Electro-disco-nu rave-etc-etc-etc blog that posts lots of great mp3's and tends to make up part of my daily soundtrack here at work.

That's all for my the moment. Enjoy!

Let's pretend that it's Sunday!

2007-05-28T14:12:00.001-07:00

Life is really good right now. Up-in-the-air, I don't know where I will be tomorrow-style, but how amazing does that feel?!

To celebrate, here is a new playlist. Grab a coffee, throw in a little Baileys - it's summer after all! - and head to your back porch and listen.

I'm From Barcelona: Oversleeping
Patrick Wolf: The Lighthouse
Digitalism: Pogo
The National: Fake Empire
Barbara Morgenstern: The Operator (piano version)
Muscles: One Inch Badge Pin
Datarock:I Used To Dance With My Daddy
Black Rebel Motorcycle Club: Weapon Of Choice
CocoRosie: Rainbow Warriors
Bloc Party - Kreuzberg
Klaxons - Skans (Erol Alkan remix)
Patrick Wolf - The Magic Position
Papercuts - Dear Enployee
Peter Bjorn and John - The Chills

2007-05-25T12:58:00.000-07:00

I am being pulled in two directions right now but I feel that I know the path I should take; the rocky path, twisting west through the mountains and ending up at the sea, thousands of miles from my home. I might arrive bedraggled and disconsolate but there will be a community to pick me up and paint me a new concept of home.

I could pack up my things today, say my goodbyes and set myself free.

When it shines, you gotta let it shine

2007-05-24T08:50:00.000-07:00

My phone is sad; no one calls it anymore. One would think that this would mean that my social life was stagnant, however it is thriving as always. No, the problem is that due to the multitude of ways that I can be contacted online, no one even thinks to call me anymore.

Want to make a Sunday afternoon coffee date - let's send a message on Wednesday and write it in our day planners. Friday evening movie? - email me on Thursday.

Is spontaneity a lapsed concept?

In the spirit of promoting spontaneity, I am headed to London come August for nearly a month of reunions, proper dancing and lust . . . and I am not planning anything until last minute. Since I have no exact date of departure, I am flying standby. I want the first flight to London! Maybe I will book a place to stay, maybe I won't. A return flight? Nope, I will leave when the moment feels right.

I am sick of the 9 - 5: coffee at 10:35, lunch at 12:45 -
"sorry we can't eat yet, it's only 12:30",
social life after 8, in bed by midnight -
"No I cannot go home with you, I have to wake up at 7 tomorrow morning".

I guess I am officially an adult now...

Your English eyes, they are turning red

2007-05-24T07:37:00.000-07:00

The Toronto Days: the final two months?

I did it! I took the plunge and sent in my Capilano application. And now I wait, having given myself the ultimatum that if I am accepted at this late of a date, I am meant to be packing up my life here in Toronto and starting anew.

It is the perfect denouement to my Toronto years. I have had 3 excellent years in this city, full of highs and lows and always, new experiences. However, with school beginning in September, a "mere" 8 years of it, I am ready to embrace change.

Now I wait - anxiously - for the "yes" or "no" which will alter my life significantly. It is exciting to realise that I have my whole life ahead of me and that at this stage in my life, I truly CAN pack up and move halfway across the country with little thought. I have no real attachment here, emotional attachments sure but nothing so serious that I would not quickly recover from seperation anxiety. I love my friends but I know that they will still be there for me, where ever I decide to live.

I am also fortunate enough to have a built-in community (albeit a small one) waiting for me upon my arrival in Vancouver. Waiting with a shoulder to cry on, directions to the nearest Starbucks or organic food store and the promised popsicles (bribes!). Not only do I have friends in waiting but I have family there and family nearby.

If these are truly my last two months in Toronto, I have a lot of memories to make. I hope that you - my friends! - will help me with this! Help me mark the moments that I will later look back on fondly, help me conquer my camera shyness so that I can document my life here and help me not give in to tears when I realise just how large of a change this will all be.

"So when the birds fly south
I'll Reach up and hold their tails
Pull up and out of here"

- Patrick Wolf 'Teignmouth'

Let's drive to Brighton on the weekend....

2007-04-06T14:19:00.000-07:00

Here it is, Good Friday and I am stuck at work. Everyone seems to have abandoned the city for fresher air and family time. And I know, I know: THIS WAS MY CHOICE. I needed independence; distance; change. I am not complaining, I could never live back at home ..... however there are a few times of the year when one really just wants to be with their family.

I want to wake up on Sunday and go downstairs to get breakfast and find that my mum has hidden easter eggs around the house and that because I am earlier to rise than my brother, I get the larger share of the eggs. I want to make the hour-long drive to the absolute middle of nowhere to visit my grandparents and uncle and aunt and their four cats, even though I know that I will spend 80% of the time complaining about why we have to leave the city and how the country makes me edgy. I want to argue with my brother over the merits of the new Bloc Party album, me poking him until he agrees that even if it isn't 'Silent Alarm' it's still a good album. I want to join my dad in mocking my mum when she comes up with yet another Easter-inspired bunny sweater and then tells us to have a "Hoppy Easter".

I guess I can admit that I am homesick. However all of that said, I have a lovely Toronto family of my own - my friends - and with them, I can almost forget all of this and just be content. Almost. At the very least, I can smooth over my homesickness and allow them to temporarily distract me.

2007-01-09T15:33:00.000-08:00

When our actions are no longer black and white,
we'll let our shadows be the test of whom we are.